Here’s a helpful tip for anyone who has the uncontrollable urge to stuff a pen up their urethra. If you get it in too far, it will not come out your ass. It’s too late for the 57-year-old man who thought his urethra was connected to his butt, but he did manage to become a …
Author Archives: Carin Headrick
Neely’s Body Was Pulled From The Trash Bin. However, Proper English Was Burned Beyond Recognition.
We’ve ragged on the Guelph Mercury before, but after reading this story, I think the folks at the Merc are doing a stellar job. Simpson killed Simpson? No, Simpson killd Neely! He was paritally dismembered? You mean partially? My good lord above, look at all the typos. At least use a spell-checker, for the love …
Brain Crash Cab
Remember back when I said Cash Cab’s contestants are smarter than Chain Reaction’s contestants? Well, I think I may have to take that back. I saw two dumb herds of people on cash cab that I think might fit right in on Chain Reaction. I wish I could find videos of these dorks. To make …
Some Thought Dribbles
Here are a few things I’ve been thinking about. I thought about putting some of them in my last monster thoughts post, but it was starting to take on a life of its own, so I figured I’d best save them for another time. My friend told me a story about something they saw while …
Kidnapped?
What’s with the rash of fake kidnappings lately? The first one we noticed was years ago when this woman faked her son’s kidnapping to get money from her hubby. But lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of them. I went back to see if there were more I’d forgotten about, and there were. There was …
This Little Light Of Mine, I’m gonna LetIt…Ca Boom!
Why do people keep using lighters as a light source around flammable things? This woman was filling a gas can and decided she needed to see how much gas was in there, lit the lighter, and boom! the can exploded, the car set on fire, it’s now a shell of its former self. Luckily her …
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Is He Slower Than The Elevator?
When I heard about the story of the man who didn’t think to call 911 when stuck in the elevator, I had sympathy for him. maybe he didn’t think his situation warranted calling 911. maybe he was trying to get a hold of maintenance for his building to see if they could get him out …
Hop On the Bus, Gus, drop Your Pants, Lance, Put A Condom On, John…What?
Ok, here’s a situation for ya. You’re on a school bus, driving along. the bus slows down and…a naked, crazy man comes through the window while the bus is still moving! Oh wait, he wasn’t quite naked, he had a condom on. Kids jump out the back of the bus, the guy shoves the driver …
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The Wrong person’s Dog Died In A Hot Car
Remember what I said about leaving your dog in a hot car? Head of Richmond’s ASPCA Robin Star knows this all too well now. To be fair to the poor woman, she didn’t know the dog was in the car. Her husband put their 16-year-old deaf and blind pooch in the back of the car …
Big Loo
The other day, Steve asked me about something I had never noticed. He said, in old clips about robots, why are they pronounced like ro-bits?” I had never heard them talked about like that, so he told me about an ad for something called “Big Loo” that was some silly toy that was supposed to …