*Q: What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? A: Drowning. *Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an altar boy. *Q. Why do women call it PMS? A. Mad Cow Disease was taken. *Q. What’s the definition of a mixed feeling? A. Watching your …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
The Swearing Pianist
I could have sworn I posted this one years ago, but the site search and Carin’s memory say I’m wrong, so here it is now. Completely useless trivia note: I’m pretty sure this is the first joke I ever saw on the internet that made me laugh out loud. This bloke walks into the poshest …
Taste Is King, But We Never Said What Kind
I just finished a really nice dinner, and this is about the furthest thing from what I needed to see. Burger King wants to lure customers this summer with a barbecue party — and a bacon sundae. The world’s second biggest hamburger chain on Thursday is launching several pork, beef and chicken sandwiches as limited …
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Another Day, Another Case Of Taco Rage
It’s been a good week for taco-related violence. There was the incident from yesterday, and now this. Police were summoned to the Taco Bell by workers who reported that a “white male in a white truck struck” the eatery’s entrance and then fled the scene. Cops tracked a fluid trail leaking from the vehicle to …
Salt And Pepper Diner
Somebody posted this on Twitter for some reason, I laughed at it, and now I’m sharing it with you. It’s one of those things I can imagine our friend Greg and I doing. John Mulaney – Salt and Pepper Diner
My Fist Will Go On
Alternate title: Roger Stephens Goes To The Movies. Yong Hyun Kim and his girlfriend just wanted a pleasant time out. But some little punks were not going to have that, and set about ruining his Titanic in 3-D experience by loudly talking, running around and throwing popcorn at him when he asked them to settle …
Make A Run For Wherever You’d Like, But Not Without Your Damn Tacos!
Let this be a lesson to you. Never, under any circumstances, fuck over the taco stand guy. Police said a 17-year-old man canceled his taco order when he realized he was late for school. The 19-year-old man followed the teen and tried to run him over with his truck, police said. When he missed him, …
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TNA Is Better Than WWE. No, Really
I want to take a quick second to write this down, because I can’t believe I’m saying it. Wrestling fans. If you find yourself with limited time and need to make a choice between watching WWE or TNA, choose TNA without hesitation. Seriously. Shitcanning Vince Russo in favour of people with a clue has done …
Lawsuit Goes As It Should. What Are Things That Don’t Happen Nearly Enough, Alex
This stuff really shouldn’t amaze me anymore. The legal system is about half past broken, has been for a long time. So maybe it’s not just the suit attempt itself I’m amazed by, but rather that the courts got it right with what seems to be uncharacteristic ease. Kyle Best ploughed his truck into a …
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Today In Ridiculous Homophobes
Oh…god…brain…melting…can’t…handle…the…stupid! Perhaps you’ve heard of Pastor Charles L. Worley of the Providence Road Baptist Church in North Carolina. But if like me you hadn’t until now, here’s a quick video you can use to learn all you need to know about him in 2 minutes. Yes, that really is a man advocating caging lesbians, “queers …