LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Homeless man Grady Allen Carnahan was caught trying to steal a sheep from the Little Rock Zoo on Tuesday night. A security guard called police after noticing a man lugging a trash can with a sheep inside. Carnahan tried to tell police he was a doctor and the sheep was sick. …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
No News Is Top News
We’ve got Canadian tourists being murdered by professional hitmen in Mexico. We’ve got buildings falling down and killing people. We’ve got what could be the largest bank robbery in British history. We’ve got earthquakes, shootings and city-wide strikes that are shutting down important services in some places. We’ve got lots of things that I’m sure …
Who Knew?
Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex More details on this developing story will be published in the next issue of Duh Magazine.
I’m A Professional
Given all of the talk in the media recently about the rising number of gun-related incidents in Toronto and elsewhere, I thought it was only proper that we here at the Vomit Comet use our vast world-wide influence [hahaha] to spread the message that guns, even though they may seem to some to be fun …
I Hope He Can Hear Me Say Duh
Apple sued over overly loud iPod I shouldn’t be surprised about this, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be annoyed, and I am. Let’s forget for a moment that this lawsuit is completely stupid and baseless, which it certainly should be to anybody who takes 30 seconds to think about it. I mean for Christ’s …
Battle Of The Bands
Ok, poll time. Who’s worse,whoever the hell these people areorthe Barmitzvah Brothers? Hmmm, something tells me I should have called this Battle of the Bads instead.
Super 7
Carin did this and said I had to do it too, so here I go. Seven things I’d like to do before I die:1. Go to at least 1 WrestleMania or see 1 wrestling event in Madison Square Garden.2. Spend some time working in big time commercial radio so that I can get a truly …
This Made Me Laugh
There is a knock on St. Peter’s door. He looks out and a man is standing there. St. Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A short time later there’s another knock. St. Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears once again. …
Randomly Offensive Funny Email Of The Day
Hellen Keller went to townriding on a ponystuck a feather in her capand called it BLEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHGHGHAG
Stand Up For Canada
I missed out big time yesterday. Really, really big time. I was just a few short steps and a few short seconds away from snagging myself one of the coolest political souvenirs in history, but stupid me decided to stand out in the shitty freezing rain and wait for the bus instead. God, I’m such …