Arthur Price Had His Table, And Now This Woman Has Completed The Outdoor Humping…Er, Dining Set

Seattle Woman, 33, Arrested After “Humping” Lawn Chairs, Exposing Self A female witness told officers that Hans “had come onto her lawn and was ‘humping’ the lawn chairs,” according to a Seattle Police Department report. The woman added that she and her two children–ages 15 and 11–watched Hans’s late-afternoon performance from a window in their …

Job Prospects And Vodka. What Are Two Things Going Down Hill In Oklahoma?

From this story, we learn two things: 1. Clothing stores in Oklahoma don’t have back to school sales. 2. The liquor stores, on the other hand… A newly-hired teacher was found intoxicated and not wearing any pants inside an Oklahoma high school classroom on her first day of work, according to Wagoner police. Police arrested …

Was That A Good Idea? Not Even Close

No matter how funny you think your dumb joke is, it’s probably best that you don’t bust it out for the friendly local reporter asking questions and taking pictures for one of those man on the street articles if you’re a bail jumper. A college student wanted for jumping bail on a drunken driving case …

Man’s Best DD

Sometimes I’m not sure what’s worse. Is it an idiot trying to come up with a good excuse for something, or an ever so slightly resourceful idiot paying just enough attention to his surroundings trying to come up with a good excuse for something? Uh-oh. I think that cop just found the dog I left …

Everybody Out Of The Pool, And Onto The Car!

Oh look. Another story about some imbecile letting her kids ride on top of the car. All six of them at once, which is probably a new record. Of course, things ended poorly. And yes, intoxicants were involved, at least so say police. Worried that her car’s interior would get soaked, a Texas woman directed …

Could I See Your Budweiser And Registration Please, Sir?

You know that old line about asking the officer to hold your beer when he pulls you over? Seems a fellow by the name of Damon Tobias Exum may have decided to try it out. It pretty much bombed which is fitting in a way, though perhaps officer Rodriguez might have found the whole thing …

I Think He Had More Than A Snoring Problem

I read about this story not too long after I was out of the hospital. In true me fashion, I let out a scream when it got crazy…and then thought, in light of current circumstances, maybe that was dumb. Poor Steve, the scream must have been pretty painful-sounding, because he came in a hurry, thinking …

Happy 25th Birthday, News Of The Weird!

If you read this blog and actually like it, first of all why, but more importantly, you owe a bit of a thank you to a fellow by the name of Chuck Shepherd. If not for him and his News of the Weird column, I and to an extent Carin may not have the sorts …

had She Taken The Advice Imparted By Her Name, We May Not Be Here Right Now

If you want to make it easy for the cops to catch you driving drunk for the seventh time, feel free to drive the wrong way, forcing your fellow motorists off the road as you go. But if that’s not enough of a gift, definitely do be sure to smell of liquor and make sure …