Dick Kleis decided to wish his wife a happy birthday. But he didn’t want to do it with a card, or a letter, or anything remotely average. He wanted to show it in a far more mushy way. He decided to write the message in 120000 pounds of manure. Three hours later, it was done, …
Category Archives: blech
There’s A Charge For That?
The story of Daniel L. Shilts Jr. peeing in the back seat of a police car and on a cop is about as bad as the launching of the well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin. He was driving drunk, obviously so, and got stopped for it. When he was arrested, he pissed in the back …
Gee, Thanks, How Thoughtful
Ya know, I needed ideas of things to get people for Christmas, not things not to get people for christmas. But thanks for the handy dandy list of things to avoid. Can you imagine opening up one of these things on christmas? Just imagine the facial expressions of you and everybody around you. Uh, that’ll …
You’re Cut Off! Oh Yeah? Well, You’re Shit On!
Scott D. Leonard should take a lesson from Erik Salmons. Quit while you’re ahead. Leonard was having a grand old time at a bar, and then he got a little too tipsy and started throwing darts at other patrons. The bartender said there would be no booze for him, something he did not like to …
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Autotune the Puke
Wow, there’s nothing the Autotune the News guys won’t think to work their magic with. Now, they’ve made the balloon boy’s puking into semi-music. Awesome! I’m so glad I go back and check on that channel every now and then.
Did He Just Take Too Many Laxatives?
Even if you were drunk out of your mind, what would possess you to walk into a pharmacy, walk to the front of the store, take a dump on the floor, and then leave? And how sad that this drunken defecator has the name Robert E. Lee. This makes me wonder. Why would you give …
Did He Not Light Up Her Life Enough?
It’s not often that a woman goes in the do it yourself files, but I believe Daria Woods belongs there, wouldn’t you say? When the male victim went outside to avoid further assault, he told officers, a naked Woods ran outside to attempt to attack him again, but ultimately grabbed his keys from him and …
Trixie-Related Ramblings
Here comes some more Trixie-related stuff. I don’t know if this post is quite long enough for R to sit back and put her feet up and read, but it’s longer than that other wee one I wrote. There are two things Trixie does right now that are mildly annoying. Hopefully I can get one …
She Could Not Be Contained, Even In Death
Ug. If you’re going to put the ashes of a dearly-departed in a locket, make sure it’s professionally-sealed and meant to hold ashes. Otherwise, it may become a leaket, and put the ash in your mashed potatos. I know, that’s a horrible, horrible thing to laugh about. But I can’t stop. I think it’s because …
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I’m Sure He Thought The Sentence Was Crap Too
Remember our old pal Weusi McGowan? The one who smeered his lawyer with crap and threw some at the jury? Well, he got 31 years in the slammer. I guess they checked him for any bags of crap, because there was no word of him hurling anything at the judge after that sentence.