Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Ug. If you’re going to put the ashes of a dearly-departed in a locket, make sure it’s professionally-sealed and meant to hold ashes. Otherwise, it may become a leaket, and put the ash in your mashed potatos. I know, that’s a horrible, horrible thing to laugh about. But I can’t stop. I think it’s because …
Continue reading “She Could Not Be Contained, Even In Death”
Remember our old pal Weusi McGowan? The one who smeered his lawyer with crap and threw some at the jury? Well, he got 31 years in the slammer. I guess they checked him for any bags of crap, because there was no word of him hurling anything at the judge after that sentence.
You know you’re desperate for employment when you decide to be a Charmin Embassador. Seriously. What’s the job? Procter and Gamble, from time to time, set up public bathrooms in New York and promote Charmin. They want to pay people to stand around in these public johns, interact with the people going in there to …
Hey there copper wire-stealing dude. It’s a good idea to check a place where you’re going to steal copper wire to see if there are cameras. What is a bad idea is trying to take a crap in a barrel of grease nearby. There were cameras, you tipped over the barrel, and your whole escapade …
I know doing long long marathons can hurt the toenails, but do a lot of people really think of having them permanently removed? Ow ow ow ow ow! Acid poured on the nail beds? Ow oo ee eeee! I think the grossest picture is that of people who only have the mangled ones removed, so …
Continue reading “And This Little Piggy Went Ow Ow Ow Ow All The Way From the Doctors”
It’s been a while since we’ve written one of these. But we thought we’d compiled enough commercials or slogans to do another one. We saw a commercial for something called “Juicy Juice immunity.” Juicy juice? It’s juice. Shouldn’t it be juicy? If not, it wouldn’t be…juice, would it? I know it’s a product for kids, …
I can’t imagine living, and dying, in 8-foot heaps of trash, trash so deep that they had to bring in breathing gear and two different types of dogs to find the woman who had once inhabited the house. Yikes.
Ug. I’m all for the whole reduce, reuse, recycle thing, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, and I think making a teddy-bear out of my own placenta definitely crosses it. Can you imagine explaining to your kid where Teddy came from? Better yet, can you imagine Junior’s disgust when he figures out what …
I have no doubt that what happened to this woman would suck. What I don’t like is the overdramatic stance she’s taking. She’s so angling for a lawsuit. I can tell. She claims that after ordering an iced tea, she took a sip, and got a big ol’ swig of mucous. *ug*. She showed it …
Continue reading “I Can Taste The Slime, And Smell A Lawsuit”
Ug. Now there’s something I wouldn’t want to have happen. A Florida family suddenly heard something crash into their pool screen and fall into their pool. It turned out to be a naked, drunk man covered in poop. Yup. When they recognized him, he ran away, but police tracked him, Robert Stark Higgins, down. All …