I’m not sure whether I haven’t been paying the sort of attention that I should be paying or if Adam Smith is opening up new frontiers in the obscene phone call space, but this is new to me. A Florida Man admitted that he was naked and masturbating when he dialed “numerous random phone numbers” …
Category Archives: do it yourself
Somebody’s Putting The Long In Long Beach
Yes, there’s the obvious meaning of the joke in the title. No, nobody in the video bothers mentioning whether or not the man cannon being utilized in full view of the hair salon was, in fact, long. But what was long, and also the reason why I really titled this the way I did, was …
Continue reading “Somebody’s Putting The Long In Long Beach”
Do I Have Your Attention Now?
Not quite as eventful as the one from the other day, but still worth a post because reading it has made me realize that I’m going to feel a little bad every time I travel now. Not because I touch myself and other people on planes and am starting to figure out that perhaps I …
Northeast On Southwest
Southwest Passenger Arrested for Masturbating FOUR Times During Flight “McGarity was seated in seat 11F and the female witness was seated in seat 11E,” the complaint states. “Shortly after taking off, and while the aircraft was in the air, McGarity exposed his penis by pulling down his pants and shorts and began masturbating.” When the …
Busting A Nutley
A substitute teacher from of all places, Nutley, New Jersey, is facing several charges after he is alleged to have been twice caught teaching anatomy when he was supposed to be teaching things that were not that. Charging documents do not say how many students were in the room during the Feb. 1 incident, or …
You Can’t Spell Pinellas Without PENIS
It says here that this fellow is a middle school social studies teacher. Not sure how any of this fits in with social studies, at least as I remember them. Perhaps he should look at switching to law. He may be a subject matter expert fairly soon. Deputies said Schroeder was spotted by a neighbor …
Sticky Keys
Hard drive joke goes here. And I may never touch anything in a Walmart again. According to an arrest report, Alexander Pearce, 28, was captured Friday afternoon on store surveillance video “hunched over a laptop with his hands in his pants.” Pearce had been barred from the retailer since July, when he was arrested for …
Toy Department, You Say
Mom! Look! A Super Poker! According to a Winter Haven Police Department report, Flor approached the victim from behind while she was shopping with her 12-year-old son. Flor “unzipped his pants, pulled out his penis,” a police affidavit reported. Getting to within an “arm’s reach” of the woman–who was “facing away from him shopping”–Flor masturbated …
Today In Bad Excuses For Worse Things
The reason I have this cell phone taped to my shoe is that the pants I’m wearing have big pocket holes that it always falls through, so that’s just the easiest way to carry it. I was absolutely not taking upskirt videos, in spite of the fact that you seem to have found some. During …
Nice To See The Police Beating Themselves For Once
Not sure what sort of medical condition it is that causes one to slap the suspect around at the park in the middle of the day while one is on duty and has one’s uniform on, but apparently it exists. A serving PCSO from the Met Police has admitted masturbating in a south London park. …
Continue reading “Nice To See The Police Beating Themselves For Once”