Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
So here I am, in a house. I’ve taken some money. I’ve had some food. What to do now? Hmmm. Must think of something. Leaving would be smart, but it feels too obvious. I need something different. Something exciting. Something…unexpected. I know! I’ll slap this sleeping guy with a fish. Come on, who would see …
Continue reading “Usually You Sleep With The Fishes, Not Get Woken Up By Them”
You’ve just sideswiped a vehicle. What should you do? A: Calmly exchange information with the driver after you’ve made sure he’s ok. B: Get the hell out of there. C: Throw a sandwich at him when he tries to talk to you, then point a gun at him when he makes the same mistake again. …
Continue reading “I’ll Have A 12 Inch Road Rage On White, Please”
Given how off putting and just plain gross the idea of canned shrimp sounds, I kind of understand why Jayson Laughman became a sword wielding, knife throwing maniac when he was accused of swiping some. Michael Airhart, 52, and Laughman had a “heated verbal argument” before agreeing to go outside and “engage in a physical …
Continue reading “The Shrimp Won’t Be The Only Ones In The Can”
Yes, it’s disappointing when you think you’re going to get free ice cream but then you find out after you’ve ordered that your stupid coupon is expired. But no, that does not make it ok to punch the lady behind the counter when she apologizes and says that that’ll be $3.50, sir instead of just …
Continue reading “How Does That Old Rhyme Go? I Scream, Then I Punch You In The Face For Ice Cream?”
When the police have been to your house at least 15 times to settle domestic disputes, what do you do to make sure that number 16 isn’t more of the same old, same old for them? Why you plaster each other with chips and dip, of course. Police say they were called early Friday to …
October 2014 update: For the first time in over 10 years of doing this, I’m breaking a personal rule and taking a post down. But I’m doing so in order to uphold another. Do our best to get things as right as we can. After a nice conversation with somebody I believe and offers of …
Look at that, it’s a wedding and a food feud all in one! The fight erupted when the best man pushed into the buffet queue to get food for his son, which is said to have upset uncle-of-the-bride Hughes. The 53 year old lorry driver is said to have then hit best man, and brother-of-the-groom, …
Continue reading “I Now Pronounce You Unconscious, You Dick”
We all know that the food warmers used by fast food restaurants can often be anything but. And honestly, who hasn’t wanted to assault a Burger King employee a time or 12? Really, I can relate. I hate Burger King for deeply personal reasons that you really don’t want the details of. let’s just say …
Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe in. Sometimes somebody crosses a line with you in such a way that you might even have to fight for it. If you’re 22-year-old Brandon Antron Crosley of Cocoa, Florida, that line is drawn at the point where dad is obviously messing up the Kool-Aid …
Continue reading “It’s A Shame That Kooler Heads Couldn’t Have Prevailed”
If you asked me to make a list of things that make this blog writing stuff a whole lot easier, two items I’d put right near the top of it would be police blotters and the state of Florida. And when those two things come together, oh boy. ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON A man …