Saint Peter is watching the gates of Heaven, but he really has to go to the bathroom. He asks Jesus to watch the gates for a few minutes, and Jesus agrees As Jesus is standing there, he sees an old man leading a donkey up from Earth to Heaven. He notices the old man has …
Category Archives: jokes
Thought For The Day
“I think it’s important to remember that we just can’t be good at everything. For example, look at Liberace. He was a great pianist, but he sucked on the organ.”
Rules For Singing The Blues
I can’t take credit for writing this but since it’s been emailed to me a few times over the years and I can’t seem to come up with any of my own ideas these days, I’m going to post it. It’s funny, enjoy it. 1. Most Blues begin, “Woke up this morning.” 2. ” I …
Something That’s Troubling Me
I read somewhere a little while ago that 1 of every 4 people on the planet is Chinese. the problem is that right now I’m in a house with 3 other people and for the life of me I can’t figure out which one of us it is.
Here’s A Stupid Joke For You
You might want to read this one out loud. A really, really fat man got out of the shower at the health club. A second man said, “Gee, you’re fat!” The fat man said, “Yeah.” The second man asked, “How long has it been since you’ve seen your dick?” The fat man answered, “Long time.” …
Sorry
First things first, how about a joke? Ok then, here comes one. Three pregnant women are sitting chatting and knitting sweaters for their expected kids. The first one says “I hope that I have a baby boy, because I’m knitting a blue sweater.” The second says ” Well I hope that I have a girl …
Remembering Elvis
I can’t take credit for this, but I wish I could. The similarities between Jesus Christ and Elvis Presley are almost uncanny. Just check the following parallels for yourself! JESUS is the Lord’s shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd. JESUS was a carpenter.ELVIS’ favorite high school class was wood shop. JESUS was part of the Trinity.ELVIS’ …
This Site Lives Up To It’s Name
A bartender is shutting up for the night when there is a knock atthe door. He answers the door and there’s a bum asking him for a toothpick.The barkeep gives him one and shuts the door. After a few moments, there’s another knock at the door. Thebartender opens it again to find yet another bum. …
Time To Start Offending People
I know it’s not Christmas but this was emailed to me a little while ago and I thought I’d post it because it’s funny and because I have the ability to post things here. Santa is GAY! I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth,but I believe Santa’s gay. Christmas is a big, …
The Gentlemen Quiz
Here’s a quick quiz for “Gentlemen”…. 1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as a) Lovemaking b) Screwing c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared: a) Your views about what you expect from …
