Killed in a recent car accident [though unfortunately for joke tellers everywhere not one that involved a large drop] is 26-year-oldDeeceenda Hill.
Category Archives: names
It Could Be Worse…Or Could It?
This is the day for aptly-named people. The guy who ploughed his rental car into the window of a Starbux and ploughed right to the back wall was Clinton Worstman. I’m sure he feels like his name right now, although I’m not sure I blame the poor dude completely. his car could have pulled a …
Cleanup In Aisle Five!
An ex Wal-Mart employee planned to go on a shooting spree in a Wal-Mart near Slaughter Lane. It would have been one, for sure, if not for his incredibly slow movements…oh, and police finding him after he’d been doddling about the Wal-Mart for two hours! La Dee Doo, just strollin’ past the pharmacy, me and …
Oh The Poor Unfortunate Soul
Weird: porn in a teen clothing store. Weirder: the one who found it and got upset was Marcy Milfs. Poor poor Marcy Milfs. Nobody will take her seriously.
Officer Irony Is Back On The Job
If you have any information on the string of tire slashings in Guelph over the weekend, the aptly namedConstable Ashley Carrwould like to hear from you.
This Story Has It All
This tiny news article is great for a number of reasons. There were legitimate fears that graffiti that has started appearing at a Florida school showing stick figures with giant peckers was the work of street gangs, because you know how those hoods and thugs love their penis jokes. Police have been called in more …
I’m Sorry, I Just Can’t Help Myself
Note to journalists everywhere: When writing a story about a guy with a long history of molesting folks on the subway, there’s got to be a better way to describe him than “the 6-foot, 227-pound Johnson”, even if Johnson does happen to be his name. Remember, people like me read these things, and people like …
Stripped Of All Words
Allow me to catch my breath again. So, if a 12-year-old is found dancing nude in a strip bar, that is *not* immediate grounds for license suspension? Why the hell not? As an extra bonus, I think it’s fitting that one of the people charged in connection with making her dance is named Demonica, and …
Truth In Advertising
Charged with murder in the beating and choking death of an elderly woman is convicted sex offender James A. Hole.
Maybe She Didn’t Want Her Boyfriend To Squeeze The Charmin
Well, we have an update about that woman who was found stuck to her john. I guess she wasn’t sitting on the throne for the whole two years, but she was in the bathroom that long. She had been sitting on the toilet for a month. Now, the burning question of how her boyfriend managed …
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