Today in people who don’t know what an internet or a library is: These two fellas who beat each other with a stick and a baseball bat when an argument over what mosquitos look like got out of hand. According to an arrest warrant, officers found Shavers’ roommate standing outside with blood all over his …
Category Archives: news
Northeast On Southwest
Southwest Passenger Arrested for Masturbating FOUR Times During Flight “McGarity was seated in seat 11F and the female witness was seated in seat 11E,” the complaint states. “Shortly after taking off, and while the aircraft was in the air, McGarity exposed his penis by pulling down his pants and shorts and began masturbating.” When the …
Five Finger Discount Lickin’ Good
I want to understand where this lady is coming from because four isn’t even close to eight, for crying out loud, but these thieving bastards at KFC only gave me half my chicken is still not something you call 911 to complain about. The woman told a dispatcher she was at the KFC on Euclid …
The Best News Bloopers Of January, 2023
Happy birthday, Italian twins! How old are you, exactly? And hopefully Rick Too-kit can fix the Can-nukes in a way that Bruce Boo-drew could not.
Best News Bloopers Of 2022, Part 3
If I were a mom, I would be Melanie Lawson.
Busting A Nutley
A substitute teacher from of all places, Nutley, New Jersey, is facing several charges after he is alleged to have been twice caught teaching anatomy when he was supposed to be teaching things that were not that. Charging documents do not say how many students were in the room during the Feb. 1 incident, or …
Porcha-Potty
To borrow a phrase from Carin in her sleep that one time, them old guys, shittin’ everywhere! I don’t know why he did that. For unknown reasons, the Florida Man, 64, walked “fully naked” up the driveway of his next-door neighbor and proceeded to defecate atop a glass table on the victim’s porch, according to …
Finally, We Agree On Something
I don’t know if that something is that this dude we live with has horrible taste in music, that the rest of the complex wants and needs to hear our argument more than whatever stupid song this is or that we’re both just curious enough right now about how it feels to stab a guy, …
Breaking News Is Broken
This has been slowly driving me around the bend, so I had to write it down. Plus I wanted to know if other people felt the same. People have lost touch with the meaning of the phrase “breaking news.” They use it on news that isn’t that important. Some update on the state of the …
The World Could Use A Better Bail System. And More Barbecue Sauce
If there’s one place where you would figure that a lack of barbecue sauce wouldn’t be a concern, it’s a barbecue restaurant in Texas. You would be wrong, it turns out. But if there’s one place where a lack of barbecue sauce would end in a shooting, Texas would be a pretty good guess. A …
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