Category Archives: that was dumb

How Many Fools Does It Take To Write A Bad Cheque? That Depends, Are We Talking English Or French?

If your plan for scoring yourself some easy cash involves creating a fake federal government cheque and then trying to cash it, it is always wise to make sure thatthe amounts you write out in English and French are what they’re supposed to be. This important detail was overlooked by an unidentified 36-year-old man who …

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I Think It Might Be Their Time To Quit

You know you’re way too into smoking when you figure out how to escape from prison, do so with apparent ease, find a store, steal a wack of cigarettes from it and thenuse your escape hatch to get back into the jail you had just broken out of. Believe it or not, somebody really did …

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"I’m Not Going To Jail And You Can’t Make Me!" "Oh Yeah? Betcha I Can!"

What is up with people shoplifting with their kids? We had the doctor and his wife, the chick stealing the ‘101 ways to be a great mom’ book while her kids watched, and now, we have a mom who wouldn’t mind making her getaway without her kid. Luckily, a quick-thinking customer grabbed the kid and …

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Have You Ever Felt The Uncontrolable Urge To Stab Someone With A Toothpick?

In “So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish,” Wonko the Sane said the reason he went mad was because he read the instructions on a box of toothpicks. He felt it was enough to drive one insane that people needed instructions for such an item. I think he would go even madder if he …

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Talk Softly And Carry An Empty Bag

It appears to be robbery story day around here. Now that we’ve discussedhowandhow notto eat your note, it’s time for our next lesson. that lesson is simple. Speak up, lest your attempt fail as did that ofCarlie McDuffie. The incident happened at approximately 10:38 a.m. at the Family Dollar, 2120 Saxon Blvd. The clerk told …

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The Confession Would Come Out Of Her Mouth One Way Or Another

You know the phrase “You can’t unring the bell?” Well, there should be also one that says “You can’t ungive the robbery note.” Lois Harvey learned this lesson recently. I guess she came into the bank and walked up to the teller, all full of confidence. She was going to rob the bank. She handed …

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Identical Fates For Identical Twins

I’m sure identical twins do lots of funny pranks where one tries to pretend to be the other, but one place you shouldn’t do that is in court. This lesson brought to you by Matthew and Marcus Mauseri. Matthew was supposed to be in court, on a fraud charge of all things, and his twin …

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Keep Your Hands, And Arms, and Poncho Inside the Car At All Times

Thanks Ann for this one, and a couple others to come. What kind of goof would wear a poncho on a really steep rollercoaster, one that drops and swings around and exposes its occupants to forces experienced by fighter pilots? I guess the same kind of weirdo who would wear a burkha on a go-cart. …

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