That Was Pretty Stoopid, Chief

I’ve learned that expecting the general public to be able to tell a parody from the real thing can sometimes be a lot to ask, but shouldn’t we all be able to expect better from a police chief? Annapolis Police Chief Michael A. Pristoop thought he came prepared when he testified before a Maryland state …

No, They Only *Act* Like They’re From Another Planet

A lot of Canadians like to take digs at Americans over how much they don’t know about other countries. “If it’s not their own home, they’re ignorant,” says the popular opinion. Well, the popular opinion might want to rethink that, since at least some of them don’t seem to know all that much about their …

Rob Ford Does His Part To Ensure That Being Rob Ford Doesn’t Spread To Future Generations

So, how did you celebrate Canada’s big gold medal hockey win on Sunday? Did you drink a few beers? Clap? Yell? Cheer? Scream? Accidentally mash your man parts into a fire hydrant? Rob Ford runs groin-first into fire hydrant while celebrating Canada’s gold medal in hockey For the second straight time, Rob Ford’s celebration of …

They Could Use Some More Toilet Paper To Help Them Clean Up The Crap They’re In Now

Hey Brad. Is it me, or does this sound like something our dad could have done? Cheryl Crausewell said neighborhood kids rolled her yard and house in the Hickory Ridge community on Saturday. She and her son worked to clean up the mess on Monday, but some of the toilet paper was still stuck in …

Lol OMG UR Fat Love Teh Government XOXOXO!

Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? Who stands up in a meeting and says “I’ve got it, you guys! I can solve our fat people problem! You see, what we’re gonna do is wait until they’re 18, set a minimum butterball threshold and then text them every day to remind them that getting off …

I Understand Giving Your Ex His Stuff Back, But This Is A Bit Much

Being cheated on and dumped is a pretty shitty feeling. And naturally, there are several ways one might react when it happens. Some folks cry out their eyes, some folks throw glasses, some folks throw back a few glasses, some yell and scream and still others take it all in stride and do their best …

Did Somebody Say McShooting?

In case any McDonald’s employees were wondering, the number of times you can screw up the same person’s order in one day before that person takes a shot at you is apparently two. On the evening of Feb. 9, Torres and an unnamed driver reportedly stopped for food at the McDonald’s location in the 400 …

Lean Forward…And Silence The Woman Talking About Important Things

Yesterday, I got to be impressed with our local CTV news for the first time in a while. I was worried leading up to 6 o’clock that they would lead with Justin Bieber because he’s from around here, but instead they went with things much more important (the Quebec seniors’ home fire, to be specific). …

Slapping The Baby Will Mean Something Completely Different Where He’s Going

Remember Joe Hundley, the drunken, “nigger baby” slapping Delta passenger? He’s going away for a while, no flight required. In October, Hundley pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge. While prosecutors recommended a six-month prison term, a federal magistrate today opted for a harsher sentence due to Hundley’s prior conviction for assaulting a girlfriend. Hundley apologized …