I’m sure it sucked that the man had to come and ruin your fun, but who beats up a firefighter? But more importantly for our purposes here, is Burns a good or bad name to have if you’re a Fire Chief? A Schenectady man has been charged with assault after investigators said he was part …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Sometimes Bad Baseball Is The Best Baseball
I don’t know about the rest of you, but it sure seems to me like there have been an awful lot of little league home runs in the major leagues this year. It feels like I’ve been waking up to at least one or two a week. I don’t know if that’s true, but there …
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I Said Taste The Fuckin’ Rainbow!
I was struggling to understand what and why the hell any of this was happening until I read down to the part where the fellow had previously been arrested for possession of LSD and 27.92 grams of marijuana wax. I don’t know what that second thing is exactly, but it must be the black sheep[of …
And The Word Maximum Only Has One X In It, You Losers! Maybe You’d Know That If You Laid Off The Hammers!
I try to avoid thinking about people and their stupid ass trends as much as possible, but this is pretty much what happens when I’m forced into it. Gen Z’s “maxxing” trend has gotten way out of hand. As looksmaxxers like Clavicular hype the benefits of smashing your face with a hammer, and self-described nothing-maxxers …
Just Tell Him You Were Driving, Dog
Believe it or not, I actually know a couple of guys who tried to pull off the old switch places during a traffic stop thing once. They were both drinking, but decided, in their infinite wisdom, that the one that didn’t have a driver’s license was in better shape and thus less likely to get …
Take A Flying Leap, Doug
I may be the only one, but I was fully prepared to give Doug Ford a pass for buying that government jet. Part of this is a me thing, because I hate travelling. In a perfect world, wherever I’m going should never be more than an absolute maximum of an hour and a half away …
Baby Powder
If you’re planning to tool around town with three pounds of cocaine, there are certainly worse ways of disguising it than making it look like a great big pregnant belly. On paper, at least. Unfortunately, life isn’t lived on paper. If it were, it wouldn’t matter that you drive like an idiot. Or that you …
Match The One-Hit Wonder To Their Follow-Up Song, Probably Do Better Than Steve
When I was a kid it used to annoy the crap out of me when a band was described as a one-hit wonder even though I knew damn well that they had another song! I considered it a point of pride when I could name that song when no one else could. So with that …
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How Did He Get An Uber That Fast?
More than once in these pages I’ve mentioned that something said by George Carlin wasn’t just a bit to me, but also a life lesson. This, however, is not one of those things. If only I could have explained that to Christopher Everson here before everything went all to hell for him. On April 11, …
There’s No Door Between Us. Stop Lying!
I enjoy these Ryan George videos because he takes things that I’ve often spent far too much time wondering about and then actually makes something useful out of them because he’s, like, funny and stuff. Today, it’s the guy who invented the joke.