Flasher must be such a difficult pastime. Pretty much nobody likes you or wants you around, even when you offer (in writing, no less!) to pay them healthy sums of money for very minimal effort. One woman and her friend were on the beach recently when the man walked up, tossed a crumpled, hand-written note …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
This Phone Is Delicious
You’ve seen the wooden iPad and the potato iPad. Now, meet the apple iPhone. Police from the Upper Mt Gravatt Crime Prevention Unit say the 21-year-old woman placed an advertisement on the site saying she was interested in buying a few iPhones. Not long after she put the word out, a woman called and said …
One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Hot Looking Raft
Our old pool toy and pumpkin humpin’ pal, Edwin Charles Tobergta III, is back at it. This time his victim (or date depending on how you choose to look at things) is another inflatable raft, one that had been thrown away by some thoughtless, wasteful individual who clearly didn’t care that it might still have …
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Is The Place Called Little Temples Because We Need To Pray That The Kids Don’t End Up As Dumb As The Owner?
Since this is a story about kids and their daycare, let’s play a game. I’m going to tell you a tale and you’re going to guess what happened to this teacher. Michelle Hammack was inside her classroom at the Little Temples Childcare in Jacksonville, when she suddenly smelled smoke. “I just leaned over and peeked …
Don’t Get Chippy With Me!
When the police have been to your house at least 15 times to settle domestic disputes, what do you do to make sure that number 16 isn’t more of the same old, same old for them? Why you plaster each other with chips and dip, of course. Police say they were called early Friday to …
Grinding Out 1-6-2: Help Fund A Book About Following The Blue Jays Around Next Season
Following a baseball team everywhere it goes for an entire season and writing a book about the experience seems like such an obvious idea once you hear it, so why has nobody come up with it or done it yet? I don’t know, but Neal Smith would like to, and he’d like your help. GRINDING …
Old Blues On New Vinyl
This will be old news to some of you, but if it’s new to me it’s probably new to somebody else, so… Third Man Records, the label owned by Jack White who pretty much does everything at this point, has teamed up with Document Records to reissue a whole bunch of classic blues on vinyl. …
Be Careful. It’s A Dog Eat Ball World Out There
Man. You try to do a nice thing by taking in a stray dog and giving it a good home and the next thing you know, the damned thing is chewing off your testicles while you sleep. Around 7:45 a.m. Monday he was awakened by a “burning pain” in his mid-section, according to the initial …
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Companies And The People Who Market Them Have Decided We Might Be Too Stupid For Microwave Popcorn
Honest, they have. If they haven’t, tell me how you’d spin this right here. “Microwave popcorn at its inception was all about convenience, having only to wait three minutes to get warm, delicious popcorn,” said Colleen Bailey, Orville’s brand director. But “as times have changed, the definition of convenience has changed.” “You don’t have to …
If You’ve Ever Complained About A Slow Waiter, You Can Now Have Your Head Taken Off By A Helicopter Instead
We’ve got a beer delivering drone, so why not an iPad controlled food delivering helicopter? UK-based chain Yo! Sushi is testing an airborne “flying waiter” that could soon be used to deliver orders to customers. To celebrate the release of its Yo! Burger, the company has created the iTray, an iPad-controlled food delivery drone that …