Judge: “You say you’re petitioning for a legal name change?” Leon: “Yes, your honor.” Judge (looking at petition): “I can see why, your name is Leon… Shitferbrains, is it?” Leon: “Yes, your honor.” Judge: “And what do you want to change your name to, Mr. Shitferbrains?” Leon: “Melvin, your honor.”
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Nobody’s Safe Anymore
If it isn’t already, the world should soon find itself on high alert, because the USB missile launcher has gone wireless! Like the wired version, the new launcher is controlled by a little targetting app running on a Windows PC. This time round, what’s plugged into said system is a dish-like wireless transmitter that can …
The Stupidest Hero I’ve Ever Had
The next time you’re drinking at a party and think you’re hot shit because you can hold it well, consider this story. A 64-year-old German air passenger almost popped his clogs earlier this week after quaffing a litre of vodka officials told him he couldn’t take on the aircraft. According to Spiegel, the man was …
My Bowl Runneth Over
Dawn Herb, the woman hauled into court forswearing at her toilet,hashad her charges thrown out and will not have to do any time or part with any money. District Judge Terrence Gallagher earlier this week dismissed the charge on the grounds that while Herb’s language “may be considered by some to be offensive, vulgar and …
If This Post Sucks, It’s Google’s Fault
Somebody please tell me if I’m reading the end ofthis articlewrong or missing something, because I fail to see how gang members using a certain brand of baseball caps as part of the outfit becomes something that the company needs to be held responsible for. Think of it this way. If I buy a computer …
It’s That Time Of Year Again
Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch [M-LAW[ has announced the winners of this year’s Wacky Warning Labels Contest, and as usual, there are some doozies. “DANGER: AVOID DEATH” WARNING WINS TOP PRIZE IN M-LAW’S ELEVENTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTESTA label on a small tractor that warns, “Danger: Avoid Death,” has been chosen as the nation’s most …
>Since We’re Not Helping Anybody, You Might As Well Help Yourself
>Maybe it’s just me, but something about the idea ofcops sticking yellow tickets to parked cars that have visible packages inside of themsounds more like crime assistance than prevention. They can say they’re trying to help remind people to better secure their purchases all they want, but there has to be a better way of …
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Today’s Dose Of Irony
A group of scientists at the University of Illinois at Chicago recently conducted experiments on animals to try to determine whether homosexuality is hard-wired genetically or can be turned on and off using a combination of gene manipulation and drugs. And what sort of animals would you suppose these scientists used for these experiments? If …
Smart Girls Would Not Listen To This Song
It’s amazing to think that Brian Wilson, the man behind some of the greatest compositions in music history, is somehow the same person responsible for committing auditory atrocities such asthis one. Christ this is some awful stuff.
Whshhhoooh . . . White Lightnin’
I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is that makesthis storyso great. It could be a drunken man trying to shoplift a box of “giant red hot pickled sausages” from a grocery store at 3 AM while at the same time deciding to pay for a couple boxes of beer. it could be …
