Bloods Gang Member Found With 100 Bags Of Heroin Hidden In His Anus (Which Appears To Be A New Record) I don’t know if this actually is a record, but sweet jesus do I ever hope it is. I may cry.
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
Be Careful. It’s A Dog Eat Ball World Out There
Man. You try to do a nice thing by taking in a stray dog and giving it a good home and the next thing you know, the damned thing is chewing off your testicles while you sleep. Around 7:45 a.m. Monday he was awakened by a “burning pain” in his mid-section, according to the initial …
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He Should Have Said He Wasn’t Gonna Do It Because It Wouldn’t Be Prudent
Nope, I’m not even gonna try to explain this. I subscribe to the police theory that there may have been drugs involved, however. When you cut off your penis because George Bush told you to, it’s not much of a leap to assume that either drugs you have taken or should be taking were probably …
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Alligator Guy, Alligator Guy, One Bit Me On The Arm And One Bit Me On The Eye
Not that there’s always a whole lot of it to question, but I often find myself questioning the logic of people who run from the police. For starters, you’re probably not going to get away, so why go to all the trouble? And when they do catch you, that takedown is going to suck, there’s …
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Finding A Joke Title That Hasn’t Been Used Is Hard, But I Know Something That Isn’t
As I read the story of Catherine Kieu and the penis she severed, my brain is split into two distinct thoughts. The first, as you can surely imagine, is OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! The second is how in the world did this woman get a grown man to willingly eat tofu, even if it was laced with …
This Brings New Meaning To The Term Carpetbagger
There are several things we’re often told when working with machinery. Wear goggles, don’t wear loose clothing and always turn it off immediately if something gets stuck are a few examples. One thing I’ve never heard, however, is wear a cup. But after hearing the story of Edgardo Toucet, that may change. Toucet was hired …
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Would You Like Guys With That?
Thank you Amanda for ruining my day, my week and my quite a long time after that with this, which I sure as hell hope turns out to be some kind of weird hoax. In what’s being called an attempt to raise awareness of sexual minorities, an artist from Japan cooked up a ballsack buffet …
Rectum Pharma Plus
When ever I see a story like this one, the same question always comes to mind. What’s more painful, getting it there or keeping it there? Police in Vermont stopped a car driven by Alex Boulet, a 29-year-old man from New York City. He was driving erratically, and they believed he might just be under …
Long Weekend Audio: You’ve Got Questions? We’ve Got Babble.
This will be the last audio of the night. It would have been up sooner but…well…I got distracted. We started off talking about the whole underline/underscore thing. Ro had said that Voiceover says “underline” still, and then Steve said that JAWS says underline too. More and more weirdness. We decided that would be the last …
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The Appropriate Name Of The Year Award Winner Is Already In The Bag
February 2015 Update: Reber was found guilty of felony battery and will be spending the next two years in jail. Our victim ended up requiring reconstructive scrotal surgery, which sounds about quarter past terrifying. He is said to still be suffering from pain today, nearly 3 years after the attack. That makes two of us, …
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