Here’s a little tip for others who may think like Ronald McIntyre. If you owe more than $5000 in child support and the cops are looking for you, you’re better off to just let the cops arrest you than try to jump out a window, especially if that window is a third floor window that …
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
Spider 1, Humans 0
This sounds like something that should be in a cartoon. It all started when a woman asked her husband to kill a spider in her bathroom. He went in to get it, but it was out of reach. So, he sprayed it with an aerosol can. Then, he couldn’t see if it had worked, because …
It’s Never Good When Your Face Sizzles And Bubbles
Yeesh! This story of a woman throwing acid on a complete stranger sounds like something that’ll end up in some Snopes email. All Bethany Storro was doing was getting something out of the trunk of her car, when…she hears “Pretty girl, do you want to drink this?” and splash! She gets a face full of …
Continue reading “It’s Never Good When Your Face Sizzles And Bubbles”
The Classroom Was A Buzz Of Activity
I think Kyle Dubois should have read the story of Kirsten Taylor before he thought that attaching aligator clips to his nipples and then having someone plug him in would be a good idea. Of course, it wasn’t, and his heart stopped. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, paramedics were able to attach paddles to that same …
Look Honey, I’m On TV! And My Teeth Are In My Stomach!
This videois a tad old, but I’m posting it anyway because any time a guy on a cellphone stops paying attention and gets cracked right in the face by a ground rule double, it’s good times. That statement goes double if the guy in question happens to be a Yankees fan. Nice work, Rob Johnson. …
Continue reading “Look Honey, I’m On TV! And My Teeth Are In My Stomach!”
Bee Beard Gone Wild
Allow me to say this publically. Steve, you’re a jerk! Steve sends me a message entitled “Neat story.” He tells me I would really be interested in this, it’s good. I open it, and what do I see? Another story about a fucking bee beard! But this one wasn’t just a bee beard, it was …
Parking Spots Aren’t Good Sleeping Spots
This story of a man running over, and parking on, a sleeping drunk man is the perfect storm of oh fuck. Robert Biggenow was having a good time with family. He was drinking, and drinking some more, and he decided to go to sleep. But he didn’t sleep in a conventional place. He went to …
You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, But The Flowers Bring Themselves To Me
Ricky Flowerskinda sorta had the right idea. I’m running from the cops, he thought. So best I scale this here high fence, drop down the other side and run like the wind! Unfortunately for him, he ran into 2 problems. 1. the 30 foot fence he scaled was topped with barbed wire.And2. The drop on …
Continue reading “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers, But The Flowers Bring Themselves To Me”
Roll Out The Barrel
So, here’s something else you shouldn’t try if you have brains. It’s called a barrel ride. Take a 55-gallon drum and put 4 gallons of methanol in it. Drop a match in and sit on it. In theory, it should cause the drum to slide across the parking lot like a rocket…but if the drum …
That’ll Teach Him Boys, I Think He’s Done
Every now and then I get asked why I never go to the movies anymore. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was in a theatre, but I want to say it was all the way back in 2002. The answer I generally give people is that most movies suck and aren’t worth my …
Continue reading “That’ll Teach Him Boys, I Think He’s Done”