I like a Christmas movie now and then, but it’s never a good time to settle in to watch one when you’re a police dispatcher. Somebody hit a deer, and called in that their car was stuck in the road with its lights off. It took 9 minutes for that message to go out because …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Caught With His Pants Down
I saw this story before I left, but my brain was too scuttled. Then I meant to get the story up yesterday, but I couldn’t remember where I saw it, and google wasn’t helping me out. Alright, first we need a theme song. Ah, now the tone is set. Our main character, Hector Quinones, was …
Warning Shot Through The Head
You’re riding along in your car, and you see a guy biking on a busy road with his kid in a child’s seat. This concerns you and you decide to approach the man. If you’re Charles Diez, you shoot the man driving the bike in the head! Luckily, the guy was wearing a bike helmet, …
People In The Bank Can Turn An LOL Into A Great Big OMG
Jeremy Donaldson, next time you’re bored standing in a bank line, find another way to entertain yourself. Maybe watch the people around you. Maybe somebody’s doing something funny. Or listen to some music. But texting your girlfriend to say the bank is being held up is not a good choice. She may not think you’re …
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Grande Death Potto
The story of Andrew Grande choking on a bag of pot he tried to swallow is so completely preventable and so completely dumb. Ok, if you have a bag of drugs on you, why the hell would you try and swallow it? It’s never going to end well. If you do swallow it, who knows …
Please Return To The Cash Register. Apparently You Are An Asshole
There was another crime committed in this story along with the main one of this dick of a doctor and his wife shoplifting for the thrill of it. They didn’t publish their names! They should have, just so his patients can know their doctor is a totally worthless, unscrupulous dickbag. The not so good doctor …
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One Small Slip for Newspaper Man, One Giant Sign of Stupidity for Mankind
Here’s a little help for any newspaper who might think this is real. It’s not. Oh, and duh. I guess I can cut these guys some slack, English wasn’t their first language, but please! It’s so obviously satire. I wonder how many people are laughing their heads off over at The Onion. “Here they go …
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Ho Ho Hold Back On The Booze There, Buddy.
It would be pretty weird to find a drunken Santa in your backyard. Thomas Arnold was looking for his reindeer on his way home from a party. He found a yard, some little girls, and eventually, a police cruiser.
Maybe Try Wearing Gloves?
Francis Viliar really didn’t want to get caught. He paid someone $400 to cut his fingers from knuckle to tip so his fingerprints would be unreadable. Too bad it didn’t work. That has gotta suck, after going through all that effort and pain, and for nothing. Not that I feel sorry for him, though.
Not Shakin’ All Over
Because I’m nuts, I went to find an update on Involuntary dances, to see if Rita Marcalo had managed to induce a seizure. Well, thankfully, she didn’t. But I still think she was irresponsible as hell. She was drinking wine, looking at that old hacked epilepsy forum that was made to flash in such a …