If You Don’t Stop Walking Into The Knife I’m Flailing Around You’re Going To Get Me Arrested

Shadae Scott stabbed her boyfriend Kevin Wiggins multiple times with a pink pocket knife because she was upset that his dog had eaten her marijuana, or at least that’s what police and Wiggins would like you to believe. Scott, on the other hand, would prefer that you see things a little differently. there was no …

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! You Got Disabled People In My Disability Court!

The story is a few months old and the issue has supposedly been fixed, but it’s worth a mention anyway just because it’s one of those things that happened. Plus the UK tag needs some love, and what says UK tag more than holding disability claim hearings on the 4th floor of a building, then …

Before You Leave, Make Sure You Flush, I Know You Shouldn’t Be Here, But Don’t Be In A Rush

This is why your mom always told you to flush the toilet when you were done. Well ok, maybe not this specifically because I doubt your mom anticipated she’d be raising a criminal fool, but it would be pretty embarrassing to have your dumb ass hauled in for first-degree burglary because you didn’t listen to …

iBubbleSlurpNonfunctionalPhone

I heard about this on Friday, and went out to find it. Apparently some people over at 4chan, the same people who tricked people into shaving their heads for Justin Bieber, convincing them he had cancer, cooked up another doozer. It looked like an Apple ad for iOS7, except this ad told people that simply …

I Drive A Green Car But I Need It Painted Black. And Now I’m Locked Away And Freedom Won’t Come Back

At first, Westley C. French, Richard Andrew Genn and Gregory Raymond Carson weren’t doing too badly on their little crime spree. After beating and robbing the new owner of a truck that one of them had recently sold because they wanted it back, they ditched it a few hours later, I suppose figuring the police …

Not The Sharpest Arrow On The Jail Roof

Smuggling marijuana to your friends in prison by way of an arrow fired into the exercise yard is one of those best worst ideas. Best because it saves you having to cram it up your exit hatch and risk having it discovered during a search, but worst because if your aim is off, you could …

We Regret The Error, The June Edition

The geniuses at Deadspin have struck some serious gold with this one. They’ve started a feature called We Regret The Error, which compiles mistakes and the subsequent apologies that air on local newscasts. Amazingly (not really all that amazingly if you’ve watched the 6 o’clock news for any length of time), there are so many …

I Need A Helper To Assist Me With Understanding Homestead Taxi’s No Blind People Policy

Thankfully, beyond the odd one trying to rip me off now and then, I’ve never really had a problem with a cab company. Poor Carin has had a few minor scrapes, but I think those are mostly attributable to her having a dog. Right or wrong (it’s unquestionably wrong), I understand reactions like “aaaaaaaaaahhhhh, I’m …

Breaking News From CTV. It Was Hot Yesterday, You Guys! And We Can Even Show You Why!

So here’s one of the more embarrassingly stupid and useless things I’ve happened to catch on the news in a while. Not only is the hot weather a major story on the *local* newscast as if anybody living in the area is going to be caught completely off guard by it should they fail to …