Yuck! bacon-flavoured dental floss? For a split second, when I saw that, I thought it was for flossing a dog’s teeth. Nope. It’s for people. Blech! Maybe Steve from “Steve, Don’t Eat It!” should floss with it and see how it compares with Beggin Strips! *Gag*!
Save Your Lost Child
Wow. When I look back at that old post about texting, I can tell I didn’t have a text message-capable phone. I can also tell I was kinda short-sighted. I have now heard of an awesome use for the camera in your phone if you have kids. Jill wrote a really awesome tip on how to save your lost child. It’s true, a picture is worth a thousand words. Why not take a picture of your kid so all you have to say to security if he wanders away is, “He looked like this!” I think that’s awesomely brilliant. Ok, I’ve converted. Go camera phones!
Over There
No, I’m not making a Jonathan Coulton reference. I’m talking about a blog post on the Guide dogs blog. I love this post, It hilariously points out why the directions “Over there!” are so completely frustrating and useless to blinks. If they keep this stuff up, I’ll love the Guide Dogs blog forever.
>What Kind Of Ball Are They Playing?
>Wang hurts foot, A-Rod homers in Yanks’ rout of Astros
Come on, you know as well as I do that there’s far too much fine innuendo going on there to just let it pass. And don’t even try telling me that whoever wrote that didn’t do it on purpose either.
Wow, What A Small Guide Dog!
Remember how I talked about how I get asked a lot if Trixie is fully trained? This usually happens after an embarrassing incident. Well, here’s a new twist on it. I’ve now heard that puppy raisers get asked when they’re walking through places with the puppy they’re raising if they’re blind! Now that one is just stupid. The puppy is usually wearing a training jacket. It says the dog’s in training clearly on the jacket. Plus they’re not wearing a harness.
I just wish we could switch the hats and have them get asked if they’re training the puppy and have me get asked if this is my guide dog. It would still be a slight duh, but it would be not as bad as the other way around, especially considering what the puppy raisers get asked.
Posting And You
Wow. I can’t believe I never posted the link to this video before. I thought I did, but I can’t find the post anywhere. My brother blogged about it back in April 2005, and I thought it was hilariously funny then, and found myself going to find it just now so I could watch it before I joined a forum, even though I knew most of the stuff.
so here it is. Done in the style of those old educational videos you watched in school, I give you posting and you. Have a good laugh. Or maybe I’m just weird to find it funny. Or maybe it’s so old that everyone in the known universe has seen it and they’re laughing at me because I’m late to the party. Or maybe some big fan of the blog is laughing at me because I did post about it before, I just suck at searching my own blog.
Maybe The Cellphone Rotted His Brain
I can’t decide what’s funnier. Is it the fact that Stuart Gardner came back to the house he burgled a few days before to ask the owner if the owner could give him back the mobile phone he dropped at the crime scene, or the fact that the 74-year-old owner of the invaded home said, “I couldn’t believe his cheek. He had some front to come back”. That just sounds kinda gangsta or something.
Gardner didn’t get far. While the police took the guy’s statement, they got a call that another house in the vacinity was being robbed, and ta da, it was Gardner! What a moron. Wonder what he dropped at this crime scene.
Everybody Out Of The Pool
Here comes today’s damn near daily dose of UK retardedness.
The Portsmouth city Council has come to the decision that, due to health and safety concerns,
Kiddie pools now need lifeguards and insurance.
Perhaps this shouldn’t be that much of a surprise considering this is also the same city that has asked people to obtain permits before they can have barbecues.
Why Can’t We BE Friends?
Jesus, what’s with people fighting at weddings? It all started with a missing camera and ended up with 100 people fighting, 30 police on scene, 2 people stabbed and one guy punched in the face, and 3 arrests. Holy shit. Can’t we all just get along? Smacking the piss out of each other won’t make the camera reappear.
In other news, I saw two other weddings with drunkenness and violence in them. I didn’t think they were quite funny enough on their own, but they can now get lumped in with this one. We have Nicholas Morrison, who tried to start fights with guests and threw stuff, and then we have the poor, unfortunate Tommie Johnson who got clobbered by his own mother and sister before his wedding, so couldn’t get married that night. How horrible that he lived on Blarney Stone Avenue and still had such bad luck. Maybe his luck will improve after his family forced him to kiss the street.
Here Comes The Bride, All Dressed In White, Here Comes the Groom…Riding A What?
I cannot even imagine making my entrance at my wedding on the back of an elephant. I know it was the groom who did it, but still. I remember a brief ride on an elephant at a circus when I was small. It was so wabbly, I spent the whole time screaming because I thought I was going to fall. Maybe I was just a chicken, but that’s wacky. Go Manan Shah, you’re a better man than I.