I’m Sorry, You’ve Got The Wrong Mindset

Here’s a new one for ya.
Phone: ring
me: Hello?
pause
me: ah shit here we go, a telemarketer.
heavily accented voice: Hello. Is This (says some name that isn’t mine)?
me: Nope, you have the wrong number.
heavily accented voice. No. I have the right number, just the wrong person.

Yeah, and in most of the sane universe, that means you’ve got the wrong number. It’s only the right number because you don’t really care who you get. Most people, when they call a number, are looking for a specific person. If that person doesn’t live there, they’ve got the wrong number. There is no such thing as the right number but the wrong person.

Damn it Bell and all your new services you gave us to make up for screwing up our bill, why did you have to give us Identicall numbers that used to belong to someone who seemed to attract telemarketers?

Signed, Sealed, … Not So Sure About Delivered.

Heeheehee. Why, every time I think about this story about a seal trying to rape a penguin do I giggle? Maybe it’s this description that does it.

The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it.

The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape – but to no avail.

The seal may have been frustrated in its attempts to find a partner

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully.

After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

Even better is that the scientists don’t even know what sex the penguin was. Well, I guess the seal really can’t get no satisfaction.

Tony BerZirkle

How did Tony Zirkle go from top prosecutor and graduate of the naval academy to, well, raving lune? He certainly is one of those now, one who is trying to win votes and enter the congress. Good luck, buddy. With ideas such as

We now have a small army of male black porn stars that are sifting through five, ten, fifteen thousand women,” he said. “One man can now genocide the wombs of thousands of women,” infecting them with sexually transmitted diseases that leave them barren.

or that blacks and whites should be segregated into separate states to prevent the, uh, “pornocaust,” or that the porn industry is a plot by Jews against white women called “porn mule womb slaughter”, he’s got a lot of work to do, as does the What The Fuck department.

I Always Knew His Day Would Come

NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team

Speaking of hockey, in case you’re stranded someplace and unable to watch the game, Canada is leading Slovenia 4-1 at the beginning of the 3rd.

And for anybody who is watching, is the sound messed up on TSN or is there really nobody in the crowd? It sounds like some of those weeknight Bruins games from early in the season. Yeah, it’s that bad.

There Can Be Only One

Activists on the Greek island of Lesbos have filed a lawsuit against the Greek Gay and Lesbian Union in the hopes that a judge will ban the group from using the term lesbians to describe themselves.

Residents of Lesbos now suffer “psychological and moral rape” from the “seizure” of their island’s name by gays, according to the complaint by Dimitris Lambrou, a local activist.

He has set out his argument in “The Misfortune of Being Lesbian”, published on his website, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Mr Lambrou, who has the support of a member of a nationalist pagan association, said that the case was likely to come before a court in Athens in June.

But Evangelia Vlam, a spokesman for Olke, dismissed the claim.

“This affair is totally ridiculous,” she said. “But if we are summoned by the courts, we will be heard.”

The article goes on to note that the island is known for poetry written by Sappho in the 6th century BC. The subject of the poetry was her love for other women, so I’m not sure why we can’t all just get along here.

Military Stupidity

So let me get this straight. It’s perfectly ok to bring men with bad knees and hearing trouble back into combat, but heaven forbid you have completely able and willing women in there! If you have one, when she gets decorated with the silver star for being a fine medic, too much attention is being attracted, and you have to pull her.

What the fuck? If she’s willing to fight and help the wounded, let her stay. If she’s good at what she does, let her stay. What does it matter if she’s a woman? In fact, it matters very much. She was providing help to local women who, due to cultural reasons, were more comfortable with a woman treating them. So she’s doing a better job than a man. So let her stay! She enlisted, she wants to be there, you were fine with her being there until she won a medal, now maybe it’s time to change some policies instead of removing her from the area.

Italian Tax Officials Make Identity Theft Easy

Hey there Massimo Romano, director of Italy’s tax office, what were you smoking when you decided to post everyone’s tax info on a site that anyone could look at? In an era of identity theft, in what universe did you think this was a good idea?

Even without identity theft, since when was posting people’s addresses along with their incomes a safe thing to do? That’s like broadcasting someone’s address and what expensive good stuff they have in their house so people can come rob them.

And how does this prevent tax-evasion? I think it would encourage it. If I knew that all my info was going to be hung out on some public site for all to see, I’d decide maybe I’d be safer not to file.

And with what privacy policy was this in line? I have my suspicions that it wasn’t in line with any of them, and the tax office director simply has a lot of balls to claim it was and hope that would do as an explanation.

Thank god privacy groups were watching and had the site shut down. But I wonder what damage has already been done, and a cynical part of me wonders what its true purpose was, even though officials keep claiming that it was some kind of attempt to encourage transparency and the free circulation of information. Whatever. That was a little too transparent.

Glow In The Woods

I think this is a really nice idea, so I thought I’d spread the word. But before I can even spread the word about the cool thing, I have to explain how I found it.

A couple of years ago, we stumbled across Thordora’s blog. She has a blogroll that’s a mile long, and around this time last year, she drew her readers’ attention to Sweet Salty. Why? Because the author, Kate, was having twins, but wway, way, way premature, and she wanted people to lend support to her. I started reading, and I loved her writing. In fact, I read everything on that blog back to its first posts because I loved her writing so much. It’s not every author who has the ability to make you laugh, cry, laugh when you should cry, be so completely honest about things a lot of people don’t want to discuss, much less put down in black and white, and make a point so clear it wacks you over the head.

To make a long story short, one of her twins didn’t make it, and she’s been dealing with that loss, as well as still going on with life and raising her two kids that she does have. She, and five other women who have lost babies, have decided to come together and make a support site for all the mothers who are going through it, so they don’t have to feel so alone. It’s called Glow In The Woods.

I think that is truly awesome. I’m sure they will help countless people going through the grieving process, lots of whom they will never know they’ve helped. I remember mom talking about when I was a baby, and how when she found out I was going to be blind, it was like going through the grieving process, even though I wasn’t dead. If there was something like this site out there for her, if the internet existed back then, I’m sure it would have helped. Eventually, she found supports in other parents of blind kids, but it was a slow process, built contact by contact.

So, there it is. If you’re interested, drop by and say hello. She, and the others there, would be glad to see you.

Sorry To Disappoint You

Here’s a sad note for Nancy Crockett, or is it Rochelle Crocket. Whatever your name is, going to college won’t prevent crappy treatment from coworkers. They may not lock you in a shed and hammer on it like these ones did, but they can still be assholes. At any rate, I’m glad you’re not working for these people anymore. The second story is full of quotes of people going out of their way to describe how much of a joke it was, but I don’t buy it. that’s just weird.