omg ur wrong lol rotflmao

A new study released by 2 researchers from the University of Toronto claims that rather than hurting the English language,
the use of instant messaging is actually making it stronger and making people more articulate.

I don’t know what data they’re looking at and really, who am I to call bullshit on scientists, but I feel I have no other choice here. I’ve messaged and emailed with quite a few people in my time, not to mention read things they’ve published online. All of this admittedly informal observational research has led me to one clear conclusion, that being that these folks can’t possibly be right. Maybe if you keep it strictly to IM things get slightly better than they do when you look at online communication as a whole, but I have a tough time believing even that much especially when you consider things like this from a couple of years ago.

No, I’m Not Shaking Your Hand, And I’m Definitley Not Smelling Your Finger

We all get lonely sometimes, but lonely enough to pay $15 for a bottle of stuff that smells like a vagina
that we can dab on our hands to make jerking off just a little more realistic?

A small clear vial filled with liquid is placed next to a black box. The box features a white circular emblem with a stylized, minimalist design above the word "VULVA" in bold white letters. Below "VULVA," the word "ORIGINAL" is written in smaller white letters. In the lower right corner of the box, it says "2 ml" in small print. Near the bottom edge, the website "www.smellme2.com" appears in a lighter, semi-transparent font.
Vulva Original

The erotic and intimate scent of an irresistible woman has been encapsulated into a small glass bottle, not as a perfume but purely as a substance for your own smelling pleasure.

The bottle is to be shaken gently and when only a tiny amount of this intoxicating substance is applied to the back of the hand the irresistible smell of a moist, sensuous vagina exudes and immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies, stimulating the cinematic visions of the imagination.

Breathe in and enjoy the scent of a beautiful woman anytime, anywhere!

Thanks…I think, to Greg for passing this life-changing product my way. I’m probably gonna be scarred for life now, you no good son of a bitch.

Something Tells Me This Product Isn’t Going To Get Its Moment In The Sun

I think it’s great that Triumph International wants to make a solar bra. But I think they have two huge problems: 1. people don’t usually like to show part of their bra, which they’d need to do to give the solar panel the light it needs to create enough juice to power your cellphone, mp3-player, etc. and 2. They say it can’t be washed. Eeewww. Who wants to wear a permanently sweaty bra forever?

I Think The Cops In Gerald Need A Little Fraud-Prevention Retraining

Wow, first we have a fake firefighter, now we have a fake drug enforcement agent! He sure picked a good town to screw up, only consisting of 1200 people, and a police force consisting of the chief and five officers, and a big meth problem. Now two of those officers and the chief have been fired, a zillion drug cases are screwed because he’s not a real agent, and this little town is rattled. What I don’t get is why the police wouldn’t have done a better job of checking out where this guy came from. Sure, he gave them a number to call and he had a convincing-looking badge, but wouldn’t they have their own contacts? Wouldn’t they have their own numbers to cross-reference? Don’t badges have numbers on them? Wouldn’t that have worked? It wouldn’t have been that hard for them. This is, after all, the police. They’re the ones who check other people’s backgrounds and such for police checks. Any way you look at it, that town is in quite the mess.

Touch Gloves, And Come Out Ready To Defend Yourself

We established long ago that
punching out a jury member during your trial
is a bad idea, and now, thanks to William Lehman, we can tell you that
laying a whoopin’ on your public defender in open court with everybody watching
isn’t a good idea either. In fact, it’s such a bad idea that doing so could see you wind up with no right to a lawyer, forced to represent yourself until you’re found guilty.

Lehman, 58, of Chisholm, Minn., who was on trial for assault, had asked the judge for a new attorney. The judge said no.

After everyone returned from a break, Lehman attacked public defender Mark Groettum from behind, locking his arm around his neck and punching him repeatedly in the face.

A chair was knocked over, and both men ended up on the floor.

“Blood was all over Groettum, the counsel table and the floor of the courtroom,” according to a court document.

And it all happened in front of the jury, the judge and all the others in the Hibbing courtroom.

Groettum told 6th Judicial District Judge James Florey that ethically he could no longer be Lehman’s attorney. Lehman asked for another lawyer, but the judge turned him down. Lehman was forced to represent himself for the rest of the trial.

The Minnesota Court of Appeals on Tuesday agreed with Florey’s decision, writing in a published opinion that a defendant gives up his right to a court-appointed lawyer when he beats up the one he has.

Yes, I did notice what he was on trial for. It makes the story that much better.

Ride ‘Em Cowboy

I’m not trying to be insensitive or anything, but I have to ask. If you’re holding a “gay rodeo” with the idea that it will help fight stereotypes, why in God’s name are people dressing goats in pink underwear and decorating cows? To me that just seems…gay.

“This proves that we are normal,” said Jen Vrana, president and founder of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association, a 240-member group that was founded two years ago.

“This is an all-American sport, and we are all-American people.”

But the event – like other longer-established gay rodeos elsewhere in the United States – distinguishes itself from mainstream rodeos by injecting a little fun along with the strength and skill required to control a bucking animal.

Interspersed with familiar events like steer riding and calf roping were “goat dressing” – in which pairs of contestants try to put hot-pink underwear on the hind quarters of an uncooperative goat in the shortest time – and “steer decorating” in which one partner of a team has to tie a ribbon on the tail of a struggling steer while the other tries to hold on to its horns.

And speaking of gay…

Chuck Curry, a 45-year-old contestant in three events, came to the rodeo from Fort Lauderdale Florida. He said he had already participated in five other gay rodeos over the last three years and works two jobs, as a barman and a taxi driver, to support his hobby.

Asked why the rodeo appeals to him so much, he replied: “I get to meet people – that’s as politely as I can put it.”

Yee-haw!

Liar, Liar, Hope His Pants Aren’t On Fire

Gregory Pillow has been sought out to give fire safety demonstrations at schools and daycares. He’s known to give really good ones. The only problem ishe’s not an actual firefighter. He just runs around pretending to be one. He’s apparently done this for years. Now, after someone called the fire station trying to confirm his employment with them, a fraud squad is investigating him.

My big question is why? What does he get out of it? He hasn’t tried to molest kids or anything, he doesn’t get money. All he does is go in and do fire safety speeches. Did he try and fail to get into training to be a firefighter, and now this is the best he can do?

Yup, people are weird.

Look! Another Trixie Post!

I figured it was about time for another Trixie update. Every single time I do one of these, I feel like I’m forgetting stuff. Oh well, it just means more material for later.

Remember when I mentioned how she like to stretch out on her belly with her legs as far behind her as possible? Well, now she has a new one. Sometimes, she’ll flop down so that she’s almost upside-down, and just stay there. It’s like she’s trying to do a headstand! Strange, strange dog.

I swear I mentioned this before, but I don’t see any reference to it on the blog when I looked back a bit. A while ago, I noticed that after she just finished doing something really cool, she would wack my right hand with her nose as if to say “I would like my kibble, please! I believe I deserve something for my trouble.” Well, now it’s gotten a bit worse. It’s nothing I can’t fix, but she’s getting super insistent about getting some kibble in places where it’s not practical to stop and give her some. Silly, silly dog.

I don’t know how she does it, but sometimes, when she’s moving around, her tags sound further away than they are. I’ll start looking for her, and she’ll be right there! Oops. I’m a big moron.

there’s another dog in our building that jingles his tags exactly like Trixie does. At first, I thought it was just that thing they do where they sound far away, but Steve has heard that jingle when I’m gone. Oh god. Maybe that dream about bringing the wrong dog home is slightly less crazy. There’s another dog with the same jingle!

Well, the Kong Wubba is showing some severe signs of weakness. The material is still there, but it has holes, the tennis ball has caved in and looks rather pathetic, one of the squeakers has ceased to squeak, although I don’t think she’s been able to remove it, but she still loves the thing. I can make her go nuts with one squeak of it. I took it with me when we went home to see Steve’s family for his brother’s birthday, and she ran around the basement with it, growling like a lion. You’d never know she had such a ferocious side. I have to get a recording of her doing that before the poor wubba bites the big one.

I’ve been told about another squeaky toy that’s supposed to be super durable. It’s called the Cuz Squeaky Toy. A lady who runs a doggie daycare swears by them, and if anyone’s going to put a dog toy to the test, it’s the owner of a doggie daycare.

I really think Trixie has figured out that even if I pack a suitcase, she’s going to stay with me, and we’re coming back. I could be nuts, but at first, I thought she was awfully nervous when I would pack her things. She would follow me around, but it was in a clingy way. Now, when I start packing, she gets all excited and waggy. It’s neat to watch the change. Now, trips are just a big adventure to her.

My poor pooch and her issues with being easily dominated by other dogs. There’s a girl in town who I help with computer stuff. She has a dog, and I don’t think the dog would hurt anyone, but she makes a big show of being in command in her own home. They have a love-hate relationship. One day, they’ll play. The next, one will growl at the other.

Trixie’s funny about this place. She very much knows how to find the apartment, but once we get to the door, she fights tooth and nail. She does not want to go inside! I have to bribe her with treats to get her in. Things are getting better between them, but still, she’s not so sure about going in there.

The funniest thing they did was compete for the affections of the second person Trixie’s a big fan of, aside from me, of course. As soon as he came over, the two dogs started taking turns running to him. If one seemed to be getting a little more petting than the other dog liked, that dog would scoot in. It was too funny.

She’s so funny. She loves to show that she knows where we’re going. When we’re getting close to where she thinks we’re going, I’ll feel her increase in speed ever so slightly, and sometimes not so slightly. She’s so funny. She tries to read my mind, and more often than not, she succeeds.

I feel sorry for the poor Trixter. In February, they closed the Country Depot, the place where I used to get her food, where that silly dog with only three legs used to hang out. It was also home to the infamous fruit stand. But even now, she stops there and tries to point it out. Oh well, she’s getting less insistent about that. Finally!

I’ve noticed something else. She’s really starting to pick up on the surroundings when we’re on the bus, and when we get to a place where we usually get off, she starts to fidget and prepare to get up! This happens on lots of bus routes. She’ll do it at the stop for the vet and other stuff down that way, she’ll do it for my friend’s place with the crazy dog she’s not too much of a fan of, she’ll do it for our home stop, and she’ll always do it for downtown! This is good! the chances are getting less that I’ll miss my stop.

It looks like Teddy pissed off quite a few people with his incessant howling at everything around him. He and his owners may get evicted, and I’m sure that’s mostly due to his barking at all hours of the day and night. He’s really starting to scare me. At first, he was just annoying. Now, he’s getting more aggressive. Sometimes he’ll strain at the end of his chain and instead of a bored sounding rooroorerooreroo, it’s more of a gurrrrrrroooof! I don’t know, but it doesn’t give me a good feeling. He’s twice the size of Trixie, so I’d hate to see what would happen to her if he decided to attack her. As much as I pity him for the way he’s treated, i.e. left outside for hours at a time, I’ll be glad when he’s gone.

I bought something for Trix that I hope will help in the hot summer months. It’s called a cool it bandana, among other names. You soak it in water for about 20 minutes or so, and it keeps its coolness for a long, long time. She’s already gotten to wear it once, and it seemed to do good things. First off, she likes it, which is always a bonus. Second, it really seems to work! Let’s hope so. My little sun-sponge needs something to help cool her down.

Trixie did something really weird the other night. I haven’t had to tie her down at night since about October or so. Once I hit the sack, she just stays in her bed. If she does get up, she just goes out to the other bed in the living-room. She doesn’t go snooping for anything, she just lays down. But the other night, she did something really weird. I was reading a book, and she got up, went out to Steve, and started snorting at him and wacking her nose into his hand. I came out to investigate, thought maybe she had to go pee really bad and for some reason thought she should ask Steve. Very weird, but it was the only thing I could think of. I took her out, and she didn’t do a thing! I brought her back in, went back to reading, and she did it again! That night was the first night in a long time that she had to spend on tiedown. But she hasn’t tried that crap since, so hopefully it taught her something.

That’s about all I could think of for general Trixie tidbits. I want to talk about the dog first-aid course I took, but that’s a whole separate post. It’s amazing how no matter how long you have a dog, you still notice new things. I’m sure there’ll be more stuff to come, although probably less often than before, just because I’ve written so much up here.

That’ll Teach The Little Bastards

Kids Who Skip School In Balt. Likely To Be Shot

The story is actually about the results of a study that found that kids who have bad school records are more likely to be killed or injured in shootings, but I post it mainly for the headline in the faint hope that it might finally silence the 3 people who still believe that the media doesn’t try to alarm the public with sensationalism.