You Just Can’t Trust Anybody Nowadays

William Kelley left the keys to his truck on the seat of that very same truck. Naturally, somebody came along and took it. Also naturally, Kelley called the local police to report the theft. But of course, since you’re here, it turns out that Kelley forgot to consider one little thing before he did so. […]

I’d Like To Report A Robbery. Someone Has Stolen My Good Sense

I’m trying to figure out exactly what Rachel Thornburg thought was going to happen here. Was the idea that police would give up on chasing her after a certain point, she would abandon the car someplace and then pick it up later once the heat had hopefully died down? I suppose that’s not the stupidest […]

I Am My Choices, But Thankfully Not A Pancake

I seriously thought they were going to get plowed down by a train. 😰😰😰 pic.twitter.com/W3FTZTO4Y4 — ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ • Carly (@CarlyAlmighty) May 23, 2019 This fella here, who apparently nearly had his lunch eaten by an oncoming train about 30 seconds after this video was shot, turns out to be an elementary school principal here in […]

Look Over There! It’s Common Sense Flying The Coop!

I expect this sort of warning would need to be given out to the selfie morons, but birdwatchers? I thought they were supposed to be smart. Chippewa County Sheriff Michael Bitnar posted “safety tips” on his department’s Facebook page on Thursday welcoming birdwatchers to the county and sharing some rules of the road. Bitnar asked […]

If You Think You’re Going To Scam Me From A Distance, You’re Right. But It’s Going To Be From A Different Distance, By God

This news report is written so terribly that I thought it had to be fake, but it’s verified by Randy Cassingham’s This is True. So if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for me. And thank goodness it’s good enough for him, because I’d hate to think that I just literally slapped myself […]

Guy Might Be Guy, CTV Reports

This is quite possibly the dumbest news report I’ve seen since it’s hot out when it’s summer. That, perhaps not coincidentally I’m starting to think, was also a CTV production. Yorkville resident says he may have seen Kawhi Leonard Pierre-James Murphy stood across from his apartment in Yorkville, staring at the crowd that had gathered […]

At Least She Knows Her Cameras Work

I understand that this stems from a neighbourhood dispute that Annie Durham appears to be on the right side of. I also understand that long simmering frustration can absolutely cloud one’s thinking. But unfortunately for her, those fluffy little anger clouds became a thunderstorm of imbecility and she didn’t have an umbrella handy. How else […]