It’s Way Better Than Working. It’s A Train Crash!

Something tells me that every night for these two might be a slow one. In an effort to make sure that they would have a slow night on the job at Wendy’s, Ryan Boria and Amy Schaner hatched themselves one heckuva plan. According to police, the logic went that if the two could find a …

Secret Secret, I Got A Secret

I need to confess something, because the TV is slowly driving me insane. There’s this commercial that keeps playing “Mr. Roboto” by Styx, and every time it plays, I want to hide. Here is why. Seven years ago, I was at one of the Toronto accessibility conferences. I attended a session about considering the elderly …

You Are Rainbows? That Ain’t Cool. Watch Us Ban You From The School

Administrators at an elementary school in Waukesha, Wisconsin, banned this nice song about living in a happy world where it’s ok to love everyone and to be who you are from being performed by first graders during a concert because rainbows are gay or some shit. Absolute moron James Sebert, who also serves as the …

Reach Out And Touch Yourself

I’m not sure whether I haven’t been paying the sort of attention that I should be paying or if Adam Smith is opening up new frontiers in the obscene phone call space, but this is new to me. A Florida Man admitted that he was naked and masturbating when he dialed “numerous random phone numbers” …

Five Finger Discount Lickin’ Good

I want to understand where this lady is coming from because four isn’t even close to eight, for crying out loud, but these thieving bastards at KFC only gave me half my chicken is still not something you call 911 to complain about. The woman told a dispatcher she was at the KFC on Euclid …

The World Could Use A Better Bail System. And More Barbecue Sauce

If there’s one place where you would figure that a lack of barbecue sauce wouldn’t be a concern, it’s a barbecue restaurant in Texas. You would be wrong, it turns out. But if there’s one place where a lack of barbecue sauce would end in a shooting, Texas would be a pretty good guess. A …

The Man In My Head Is Going Out Of His!

Back in 2018, I couldn’t stop singing Aira’s praises. I still appreciate the Aira agents, but last week, their executives made a really bad move and they’re going to spend a lot of time trying to recover. At the end of last year, they were warning us that their prices were going to increase. It …

If Only We Had A Serves You Right Tag

We all need a good news story now and then. this one did it for me today. 2 men accidentally set themselves on fire trying to torch immigration centre Two suspected arsonists accidentally set themselves on fire as they attempted to burn down an immigration centre in California on Monday. In shocking security camera footage, …

I Got Ripped Off 0.8 Seconds Faster! This Is Awesome!

You probably know this already, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Even if you’re certain you’ve heard the stupidest thing you’re ever going to hear, there’s always going to be a stupider one waiting for you just around some corner somewhere. Today’s example comes to us by way of the …