You know you’re desperate for employment when you decide to be a Charmin Embassador. Seriously. What’s the job? Procter and Gamble, from time to time, set up public bathrooms in New York and promote Charmin. They want to pay people to stand around in these public johns, interact with the people going in there to …
Category Archives: blech
Shitty Robbery Plans
Hey there copper wire-stealing dude. It’s a good idea to check a place where you’re going to steal copper wire to see if there are cameras. What is a bad idea is trying to take a crap in a barrel of grease nearby. There were cameras, you tipped over the barrel, and your whole escapade …
And This Little Piggy Went Ow Ow Ow Ow All The Way From the Doctors
I know doing long long marathons can hurt the toenails, but do a lot of people really think of having them permanently removed? Ow ow ow ow ow! Acid poured on the nail beds? Ow oo ee eeee! I think the grossest picture is that of people who only have the mangled ones removed, so …
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More Ads That Make Us Think Too Much
It’s been a while since we’ve written one of these. But we thought we’d compiled enough commercials or slogans to do another one. We saw a commercial for something called “Juicy Juice immunity.” Juicy juice? It’s juice. Shouldn’t it be juicy? If not, it wouldn’t be…juice, would it? I know it’s a product for kids, …
Too Bad Her Name Wasn’t Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
I can’t imagine living, and dying, in 8-foot heaps of trash, trash so deep that they had to bring in breathing gear and two different types of dogs to find the woman who had once inhabited the house. Yikes.
Reuse, Recycle, Recoil
Ug. I’m all for the whole reduce, reuse, recycle thing, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, and I think making a teddy-bear out of my own placenta definitely crosses it. Can you imagine explaining to your kid where Teddy came from? Better yet, can you imagine Junior’s disgust when he figures out what …
I Can Taste The Slime, And Smell A Lawsuit
I have no doubt that what happened to this woman would suck. What I don’t like is the overdramatic stance she’s taking. She’s so angling for a lawsuit. I can tell. She claims that after ordering an iced tea, she took a sip, and got a big ol’ swig of mucous. *ug*. She showed it …
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He Certainly Put the Poo In Pool
Ug. Now there’s something I wouldn’t want to have happen. A Florida family suddenly heard something crash into their pool screen and fall into their pool. It turned out to be a naked, drunk man covered in poop. Yup. When they recognized him, he ran away, but police tracked him, Robert Stark Higgins, down. All …
Once It Comes Out, It’s Not Supposed To Go Back In!
I can’t decide what is worse. Is it walking around in a suit covered in shit, or plucking out your own eyes and eating them, or eating the contents of your colostomy bag? *gag!* But that’s exactly what James Orr did. Apparently he did this to try and show the judge he was mentally incompetent. …
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Hot Shit?
Was David Truscott trying to show the farmer and his family who was boss? He would break into their place, get in their manure-spreader and start chokin’ a chicken that wasn’t on the farm. He knew this disturbed them, as it should, and he’d do it some more. He would also steal mud and sludge …