From the worse than bad explanations for doing amazingly stupid things department comes the story of Robert McDonough. The 39-year-old now former Cincinnati police officer was sentenced in February to 8 days of community service, 2 years probation and a $250 fine. He was also banned from going near Sears stores since that’s where the …
Category Archives: master criminals
This Is A robbery. This Is Also A Bad Choice Of Paper
The worst part of this guy’s night wasn’t that his name is Bruce Manlove, though I’m sure that’s its own brand of personal hell. NO, I dare say his worst moment was the time hewrote a robbery note on the back of some department of corrections paperwork, paperwork that just happened to have the name …
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A Change Would Do You Good
Anthony Wilson can’t be a complete moron. If you’re smart enough to get away with robbing 5 banks, there has to be at least a little something going on upstairs. but maybe it’s more important to be quick on your feet than quick in the head, considering how his enterprizeultimately came undone. FBI agent Juan …
This Is A Robbery, I Think, Maybe
Poor Harold Luken. He’s obviously not a criminal. He must have been desperate or something. What else could explain this complete and utter failure of a robbery attempt? His first mistake was to walk into the bank with only an Acoustic guitar. Yup, just an acoustic guitar. He said he had a gun, but a …
Missing Money, Missing Brains
Thanks Ann for this one. You know how to find some real doozers. These four robbery suspects should just take this whole mess as a sign that they aren’t meant for a life of crime. The story goes that Antonio Epinger, Kevin Dennis, Seluvaia Ita and Vanessa Perry robbed a restaurant late at night. They …
Looks Like He’ll Have Quite A Few Mintis To Think About What Went Wrong
Remember Nathan Wayne Pugh? Well if you didn’t remember him, there’s a reminder. He’s the dipshit who robbed a bank, but when asked for ID by the teller, gave her 2 pieces of it. Then he tried to take a woman and a baby hostage, but she kinda tackled him. In the second story, it …
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I Keep On Trying It, But Crime Ain’t My Thang
If you’re planning on committing a home invasion, it’s probably a bad idea to bring along a t-shirt with an old mugshot of yourself and the words “Making Money Is My Thang” on it. If you must do that, it *is* a good idea to make sure that shirtleaves the scene of the crime with …
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Mr. Cab Driver, Won’t Stop To Let Me Rob Him
The cabby in this story is one lucky bastard. And the armed robber is kinda dumb. Late at night, a cab driver picked up a guy. The guy got in the back of the car and ordered the cabby to give him everything he had and put the gun against the back of the cabby’s …
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Kids Say The Most Incriminating Things
As a kid, I could be a bit of a brat. I could also be quite the blabbermouth. If I heard it, and I thought it was amusing or worth a story, it was comin’ out. Sometimes, this made my parents very very mad when I mentioned embarrassing things like dogs drinking out of the …
Give Charges/He Dumb
When you have the limited grammar skills possessed by Joe Nathan Michael, I would understand why you might have to resort to robbery to make money. He walked into the bank, and his note said only “Give money/I gun.” The teller gave him some money, along with some other tracking device type thinggies, and the …