Before we get started, here’s a quick update/correction. Thestory in Things Number 3about the drunk who said a unicorn was driving his car when he had his accidentturns outnot to be quite accurate.There was no unicorn, just misunderstood slang that came out of communications from the prosecutor’s office. Apparently anybody who has a stupid excuse …
Category Archives: master criminals
Odd Combination Of Things Number 3
Sorry for not having this posted sooner, but between seeing a friend I don’t see much, setting up my new computer, going away to see family, seeing something that made me profoundly upset [possible post to come on that one], running around getting a bunch of things done so I don’t have to think about …
Something Tells Me This One’s Not a Career Criminal
Do I really need to say anything? Taken from the Guelph Mercury. Criminal calls police for help breaking into church STEVENS POINT, WIS. (Mar 7, 2007) If only all criminals were this helpful. A 24-year-old man called police to tell them he was trying to break into a church but he wasn’t having much luck. …
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Hey! Buddy! You do have the Right to Remain Silent, you know!
Um wow. Just when you don’t think you can possibly hear of someone being more stupid, you read this story. I can no longer write. I’m still laughing. A Monroe man allegedly was amazed when told his estranged wife’s boyfriend survived a Nov. 30 knife attack, Snohomish County prosecutors said Thursday. “What? I thought I …
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Are Thoughts Flukes for Fluckes?
Here are a couple of tips for the would-be user of a counterfeit cheque: When you pull into Wal-Mart and you see 40 police cruisers in the parking lot, it is wise to suppose that perhaps now is not a good time to use the cheque. If you decide to push on, thinking that the …
What? I Need an Escape Route?
Before I write a big post about the holidays, I just had to write this down because, well, it belongs here. Attention all dumbasses! When you decide it’s time to carjack someone, you might want to know where you’re going if you manage to steal their car. Otherwise, you might end up having to admit …
Brain Drain!
Wow! Would you believe that, instead of making a date-rape drug, this bunch of imbeciles made industrial strength drain cleaner, some of them even managing to down four glasses of it, but they still didn’t figure out that something was amiss with their chemical creation until they had to call an ambulance because our star …
I Have No Idea What To Call This Post
Happy Monday to everybody. I hope you’re all having a good day, and I hope you’re keeping cool if it’s hot where you are. It’s hot here, that I know for sure. Canadian weather is just fucking weird, there’s no other way to describe it. A few days ago we were treated to some beautiful …
Live From Arkansas, It’s…An Idiot Going To Jail!
Attempting to rob somebody isn’t a great idea at the best of times, but when the person you’re attempting to rob happens to be a television host who is live on the air, it’s even worse. Believe it or not, that’sexactly what happenedin the town of Fort Smith, Arkansas last week. At first, Gary Spirito …
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Why Stealing Is Wrong, And Why Tobacco Might Not Be
A 26-year-old man’s first mistake was allegedly stealing a tractor-trailer rig that had been left unattended with the engine running, police say. His second blunder was mistaking the truck driver’s tobacco-spit cup for something refreshing, and taking a swig. The tale of alleged instant justice had its roots earlier Monday, the report said, when the …
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