I’m not sure why anyone would call a taxi and use it as a getaway car, but years of tracking the depths of human stupidity has taught me that some people do. So as a helpful tip for these master criminals, I offer the following suggestion. When leaving the scene of your heist, try your …
Category Archives: names
Baby’s First Coronary
By the sounds of it, the triplets of Leanne Salt are doomed. But perhaps they were meant to be doomed because their last name is Salt, and they seem to be getting entirely too much salt in their diet, along with too much fat, and too much of everything else. Their mother weighed 40 stone …
His Parents Said He Was Born To Be A Lawyer
Here’s one for the wacky but fitting names files. he was caught practicing law without a license. His name? Perry Mason.
Drinkin’ Thinkin’ Leads To Clinkin’ Thinkin’
Hey Erik Salmons. Next time you get tossed into a cab and told to go home because you’re too drunk to drive, just shut up and take the cab. You’re not being charged with anything, you’re just being told to go home. When you get home, just go to bed. Don’t get in your daughter’s …
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My God, All The Stuff In The News About Going Back To The 1930’s Is True!
Guess who’s in trouble for tax evasion again. If you said Al Capone, you win. I’m not sure what you win, but you still win. Maybe you win a free pizza, since the Capone in this case is an Italian restaurant in Boston, not a gangster from Chicago. Hopefully they’re giving out free irony too.
>Back Off! Make Your Own Sandwich!
>Ooo! More food-related fightin’. Now we have Lyndel Toppin, whose name is dangerously close to “topping”, who makes me wonder if he was the result of breeding between a human and a pit bull. Because his fiance didn’t put the cheese on his meatball sandwich just right, he not only slashed her finger causing a …
With A Name Like That, It’s Good They Paid Him An Unexpected Visit
I think it’s fitting that a dude who got busted on probation for having a meth lab and a ton of stolen stuff’s name is Lloyd Conn, I know there’s an extra n, but come on. Even better, he lives on Smoky Hollow Road. that’s what it would have been if his meth lab exploded.
This Blood’s For You, For Clocking Off The Job And Not Buying Something I Like, You No Good Sons Of…
Amilcar H. Guerra, 50, is facing charges of aggravated battery after throwing punches at and then stabbing the 3 people he was drinking beer with in a mobile home. Yes, I’m shocked too. So why did he do this, you ask. Seems hewasn’t a fan of the brand of beer they had purchased for the …
I’ll Have The Chocolate Chip Pancakes
It’s not that hard to make an amusing post out of the story of a former assistant district attorney taking a dump on a bench outside of an IHOP to begin with, but when that former assistant district attorney has enough of a sense of irony to do so in the town ofBrownsville,it definitely makes …
Oh I’m So Easily Amused
Oh man. We have ourselves a double wammy. the headline is awesome, and there is an aptly-named fellow in the story. The headline? Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack. So now they don’t just respond to toe-tapping, eh? And the name of the arresting officer? John Lines. Hahahahahaha. Awesome. A story doesn’t get …