>I’d Send The Guy A Sympathy Card, But I Doubt He Has Time For It

>The next time you feel like bitching about a few spam emails finding their way to your inbox, stop a moment and spare a thought for poor Colin Wells, who receives around44000 of the things every single day. According to ClearMyMail, a company that appears to have saved this poor bastard’s internet life, his totals …

Attention All Future Psychotherapists, Psychologists and Psychiatrists

Meet Sasha Bennington. She is going to need a lot of help once she grows up and maybe her modeling career doesn’t pan out. She will realize that she was used by her completely psycho mother, Jane, to live out her dreams of becoming a model vicariously through her little girl. Jane has claimed that …

Roscoe, No! That’s Not A Dog Bone!

This story of a dog gnawing off its owner’s toe is so great. First, there’s the idea that it happened. I guess Linda Floyd has no feeling in her feet due to diabetes, she had a hangnail, put a bandage on it, and went to sleep. AS she slept, dear little Roscoe the miniature dachshund …

Brings New Meaning To Trouser Snake, Doesn’t It?

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch! I’m not a guy, but I can imagine getting bit on the end of your penis by a venomous snake can’t be pleasant. Oh ow ooo eee! The guy’s just lucky that somehow the snake didn’t fill him with venom, so he’s alive to remember the painful incident. I …

Up, Up And Away In A Helium Balloon

Oh boy. Maybe the best thing that could happen to Lefkos Hajji would be to never find the $12000-ring intended for his fiance that he put in a helium balloon that was ripped from his hands by a gust of wind. If the accidental loss of a ring can make his wife to be so …

If You Happen To Know The Answer, You Don’t Have To Explain How

If you go to the hospital for a few stitches because you took a wack on the head, what legitimate medical reason is there for the doctors togive you a rectal exam, especially when you’re completely alert and otherwise ok? If you know the answer to this question, something tells me that Brian Persaud of …

>Suddenly, $35 Doesn’t Seem Like That Much

>Just picture the complete suckery that a day like the one described in this story would entail. It definitely outsucks subjecting your taste-buds to a vegan brownie! Man is mugged at gas station, man chases after mugger in his car, man gets out to chase him on foot leaving keys in ignition, completely unrelated men …

There were Thieves, Thieves, Stealing Dying Men’s Cheese, At The Corner Grocery Store.

The UK sucks, but you know where else sucks? Mesa, Arizona! Why? Because if you get smoked by a moron who doesn’t know how to drive because he toasts you at a bus stop, and you happen to have bought groceries, as you expire, and someone is trying to help you, the locals will steal …