Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Oh wow. I read about this, and my brain melted. Then I showed Steve and his brain melted. So it needs a spot up here. This was not Mauricio Fierro’s best day at all. He decided to rob a pharmacy. But when he came back out with his stolen cash, he discovered someone had stolen …
Continue reading “I’d Like To Report Some Stolen Stolen Goods…”
Imagine a jail that hasn’t had working cell door locks for about a decade. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Unimaginable perhaps? Could never happen, you say? Well my friends, since you’ve clearly forgotten which website you’re reading, I invite you to think again. The Fulton County jail will get door locks that work next year, preventing …
Continue reading “If The Locks Don’t Work, Can You Still Call It Maximum Security?”
When I heard about this story, it sounded like it should have been a piece of satire, written in a PC magazine somewhere. Sadly, this is no joke. I think everybody knows who Casey Anthony is, right? Prosecutors couldn’t prove conclusively that she had killed her daughter. They even searched her computer and had no …
If only Donald Blood III had humbly asked his greater power to remove his shortcomings, perhaps none of this would be happening. To be specific, the shortcoming that prevents him from being able to distinguish a paved parking lot from a grass-filled lawn. That one’s causing all kinds of problems for him right now. And …
Continue reading “Those 12 Steps Will come In Handy, Since He May Soon Be Walking Everywhere”
So you’ve just stolen a car. What do you do next? If you’re David Williams of St. Clair, Missouri, that’s an easy one. Pull up beside some officers assisting a stranded motorist on the highway and see if they want to race, then gun it! Luckily or perhaps not given how things ended for him, …
I talked about the guys stealing that woman’s driveway having balls. This took some balls too…although it probably won’t work out too well in the end. Patrick Townsend was stopped by police, at which point they found a whole bunch of meth in his boxers. So, off to the station he went, where he confessed …
Clearly I need to start reading newspaper advice columns again. This amazing question actually ran in the Ask Leslie column in the Hays, Kansas Daily News in June of 2005. If you don’t believe me, take it up with Randy from This Is True. And while you’re there, subscribe to everything he offers. Now where …
Continue reading “What The Heck Are Camel Toads? Are They Dangerous?”
Reasons the Harper government sucks, number…oh man, this is getting to be way too many digits. They’re just the worst. Now and then, with approval, prison inmates were spending their own money to order pizza and chicken from local restaurants. They were being charged extra for the privilege, and a large portion of that extra …
So, girlfriend of mine. You don’t believe that a zombie outbreak like on The Walking Dead could happen? I’m sorry honey, but that’s a shootin’. Nassau County Detective Lt. Raymond Cote said Jared Gurman, 26, argued via text messages with his girlfriend, Jessica Gelderman, 27, just after 2:30 a.m. Monday about the possibility of a …
Continue reading “Either Agree About The Zombies Or I’m Gonna Turn You Into One!”
Doctor: Good news, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You have just given birth to a happy, healthy 8-pound baby girl! Congratulations! Mom: She’s beautiful! Dad: Wow. she’s…so small! Mom: She has your eyes! Look at her! Dad: Awwwwww. She does! Mom: I can’t believe this is happening! We’re so lucky! Dad: I have my very own …
Continue reading “Her Name Is Hashtag, But We Call Her # For Short”