>I Don’t Know…Stuff!

>I’ve been meaning to write this thought pile down for a while, but for some reason, I just couldn’t get started. Even now, it isn’t flowing like it usually does. Oh well, hopefully it will pick up before it’s done.

I can’t believe I’m halfway through that French class I joined. Things are going very well. I really like my classmates. They’re a lot of fun. I’m hoping that we can exchange info and meet up afterwards to informally keep our French alive. I don’t want to keep paying for courses if we can just go to the park and have a chat or something.

The teacher is really cool. She says she’s happy that I’m in her class. She’s so thrilled with me that she told her night class about me! One of the students recognized me when I walked into the store where she works. It’s weird to be standing in line and then the cashier says, “Are you taking a French class?” Uh, yeah.

The teacher even says she’s happy that I didn’t let her know in advance because that would have given her time to get herself all worked into a frazzle. How often do you get thanked for not warning someone about something? She’s a cool lady. I’m glad I could show her that having a blind student isn’t the end of the world.

Remember back when I mentioned getting Pacman Talks? Well, my scores have gotten a hell of a lot better, and I’ve been able to turn off training mode! Someone halfway good at this game could still probably clean my clock, but at least the scores are respectable, and I have to actually do some work to get into my own top 10. God I’m so addicted to that game it’s not funny.

Sometimes, when I’m not playing it, I’ll imagine certain things as ghosts. I was eating a sandwich, and the jam was trying to leak out the bottom, and instead of my brain thinking that I should make sure I don’t spill jam on myself, in my head I heard the sound in the game that means a ghost is coming. Oh dear. I’m a sad case.

What is it with me thinking about old technology a lot lately? In any case, Steve and I got talking, and he was trying to tell me about an even older piece of software than I ever laid eyes on. It was called Braille Edit. Let’s go back a bit. Back in the 80’s, I used an Apple IIe with a program on it called Bex to do all my school stuff. The way it was set up was kind of like HTML code junior, in the sense that you had to write out codes in your text if you wanted certain formatting. But BEX could also do braille and interface with all manner of blinky portable technologies. I loved watching it make the Versabraille display dance when you sent text to it. I loved it at the time, but anyone who even used WP51 would cringe at the site of this.

Scarily enough, there was an even older version of this program. You see, BEX stands for Braille Edit Express. Before BEX, there was just Braille Edit, and apparently it was a very clunky piece of software to use. I tried to google it to get an idea of what it was like, but I’m finding it’s slowly disappearing from even the internet. Does anyone remember using this archaic piece of software? What was it like? I can’t imagine something clunkier than BEX.

Steve also mentioned the weirdest braille printer ever. He can’t remember what it was called, but apparently, you had to roll paper into it sheet by sheet, and it had a braille keyboard attached to it and something that resembled the carriage that you pull across on a brailler, only this carriage moved on its own. You apparently had to push a whole bunch of key combinations to get it to go, and at the end of each sheet, you had to hurry up and put the next sheet in or the whole process would time out and you had to start over. No no no, we didn’t know how to resume print jobs in those days. You had to be thankful that you could print at all! So what is this museum exhibit called? Does anybody know? I’m deadly curious.

On the newer technology front, my Book Port problem is fixed! They upgraded the transfer software, and now the daisy book works! Yea! Woo! I love my Book Port!

My pedometer arrived! Now, I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet. Why? I can set the time, I can set my stride length. I just can’t figure out how to get it to count steps! That’s kinda its most important function. Wow! I am a huge moron! In case anyone can help out a toolchest like me, here’s the one I bought. Ah hell, here’s a picture too. Picture of talking pedometer clock

When I read the story about the fake drug enforcement agent, something jumped out at me, besides the ridiculousness of the story itself. The town had a dogcatcher! This made me think about being a kid, and how many kids’ stories had dogcatchers in them. These were usually evil men who you didn’t want catching your dog. What’s up with that? Did dogcatchers used to be evil people who you had to pay off to get your dog back? Did they steal dogs? What’s the history of the dogcatcher?

I experienced a new twist on people wanting to give themselves a big pat on the back for helping me out, only this pat on the back makes me look like an even bigger fool than I already feel. I was downtown, and for some reason, I always have trouble getting back across the street from this one store. Once again I tried, and once again I failed, and ended up right next to a tree in a parking lot. Feeling pretty stupid, I hoped someone came along. Someone did, and asked me where I was trying to go. I told her, and she helped me. That’s great. She decided to walk me all the way to my destination. She didn’t have to do that, but I didn’t mind. But when we got to the destination, she really didn’t have to do what she did next. I walked in and walked up to the counter, at which point she said in a loud voice, “Excuse me, can someone help this lady? She got lost on her way here, so I brought her here.”

Um, was that necessary? Did she have to announce to the world that I got a little screwed up? People already think we can’t do anything without help, thanks for perhaps furthering that assumption for anyone in that store. People probably think I’m overreacting, but let me put it this way. If you gave someone directions, would you then yell at everyone around you, “Aren’t I great? I just helped her find the mall!” No, you wouldn’t! You’d just help the person out and go on your way.

I don’t know why some people have to make a big production out of helping someone. Can’t the act of helping be enough? Can’t they realize that the person they’re helping would like to preserve some of their dignity?

And that’s about it for now. Wasn’t that the most random pile of uncoordinated thoughts? Oh well, that’s nothing new I guess.

Enjoy Your New Penis, And Don’t Forget To Thank The Guy Who Gave His Life For It

This
makes me angry almost beyond words.

The Ontario government has announced that it will resume covering sex-change operations under it’s health insurance plan in the near future. This is the same health insurance plan that does not cover things such as eye exams, not to mention the same health insurance plan that had my family wondering how much of my dad’s care would be covered when he had his stroke a couple of years ago and hoping that we could sort out what kind of coverage he had through private insurance so that his hospital stay wouldn’t cause financial problems for him if/when he got out.

The article I linked above doesn’t nearly do this story justice, at least not compared to the report on my local TV news the other night. In that story, supporters of the change were crowing about how these kinds of surgeries should be covered on human rights grounds and that they’re a quality of life issue, oh, and we can’t forget a matter of life and death because a few people offed themselves because they felt they had been living in the wrong body.

I have no problem with somebody wanting to become a new person, and though my words might indicate otherwise, I don’t have that much of a problem with the government helping them out. What I do take issue with is all of this human rights and quality of life business. It’s a violation of somebody’s rights that the government won’t foot the bill for a cock snip, but delisting exams that could allow a person to continue to live his current life with the eyesight he already has is perfectly fine? To quote somebody who’s name escapes me at the moment, “horsepebbles!”

If the government wants to spend my money on this they can go ahead, but they’d better be prepared for all of the whining from everybody else who wants elective surgery, and for the justified complaining from people who can’t get funding for medical care that truly falls under the category of life-saving.

omg ur wrong lol rotflmao

A new study released by 2 researchers from the University of Toronto claims that rather than hurting the English language,
the use of instant messaging is actually making it stronger and making people more articulate.

I don’t know what data they’re looking at and really, who am I to call bullshit on scientists, but I feel I have no other choice here. I’ve messaged and emailed with quite a few people in my time, not to mention read things they’ve published online. All of this admittedly informal observational research has led me to one clear conclusion, that being that these folks can’t possibly be right. Maybe if you keep it strictly to IM things get slightly better than they do when you look at online communication as a whole, but I have a tough time believing even that much especially when you consider things like this from a couple of years ago.

No, I’m Not Shaking Your Hand, And I’m Definitley Not Smelling Your Finger

We all get lonely sometimes, but lonely enough to pay $15 for a bottle of stuff that smells like a vagina
that we can dab on our hands to make jerking off just a little more realistic?

A small clear vial filled with liquid is placed next to a black box. The box features a white circular emblem with a stylized, minimalist design above the word "VULVA" in bold white letters. Below "VULVA," the word "ORIGINAL" is written in smaller white letters. In the lower right corner of the box, it says "2 ml" in small print. Near the bottom edge, the website "www.smellme2.com" appears in a lighter, semi-transparent font.
Vulva Original

The erotic and intimate scent of an irresistible woman has been encapsulated into a small glass bottle, not as a perfume but purely as a substance for your own smelling pleasure.

The bottle is to be shaken gently and when only a tiny amount of this intoxicating substance is applied to the back of the hand the irresistible smell of a moist, sensuous vagina exudes and immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies, stimulating the cinematic visions of the imagination.

Breathe in and enjoy the scent of a beautiful woman anytime, anywhere!

Thanks…I think, to Greg for passing this life-changing product my way. I’m probably gonna be scarred for life now, you no good son of a bitch.

Something Tells Me This Product Isn’t Going To Get Its Moment In The Sun

I think it’s great that Triumph International wants to make a solar bra. But I think they have two huge problems: 1. people don’t usually like to show part of their bra, which they’d need to do to give the solar panel the light it needs to create enough juice to power your cellphone, mp3-player, etc. and 2. They say it can’t be washed. Eeewww. Who wants to wear a permanently sweaty bra forever?

I Think The Cops In Gerald Need A Little Fraud-Prevention Retraining

Wow, first we have a fake firefighter, now we have a fake drug enforcement agent! He sure picked a good town to screw up, only consisting of 1200 people, and a police force consisting of the chief and five officers, and a big meth problem. Now two of those officers and the chief have been fired, a zillion drug cases are screwed because he’s not a real agent, and this little town is rattled. What I don’t get is why the police wouldn’t have done a better job of checking out where this guy came from. Sure, he gave them a number to call and he had a convincing-looking badge, but wouldn’t they have their own contacts? Wouldn’t they have their own numbers to cross-reference? Don’t badges have numbers on them? Wouldn’t that have worked? It wouldn’t have been that hard for them. This is, after all, the police. They’re the ones who check other people’s backgrounds and such for police checks. Any way you look at it, that town is in quite the mess.

Touch Gloves, And Come Out Ready To Defend Yourself

We established long ago that
punching out a jury member during your trial
is a bad idea, and now, thanks to William Lehman, we can tell you that
laying a whoopin’ on your public defender in open court with everybody watching
isn’t a good idea either. In fact, it’s such a bad idea that doing so could see you wind up with no right to a lawyer, forced to represent yourself until you’re found guilty.

Lehman, 58, of Chisholm, Minn., who was on trial for assault, had asked the judge for a new attorney. The judge said no.

After everyone returned from a break, Lehman attacked public defender Mark Groettum from behind, locking his arm around his neck and punching him repeatedly in the face.

A chair was knocked over, and both men ended up on the floor.

“Blood was all over Groettum, the counsel table and the floor of the courtroom,” according to a court document.

And it all happened in front of the jury, the judge and all the others in the Hibbing courtroom.

Groettum told 6th Judicial District Judge James Florey that ethically he could no longer be Lehman’s attorney. Lehman asked for another lawyer, but the judge turned him down. Lehman was forced to represent himself for the rest of the trial.

The Minnesota Court of Appeals on Tuesday agreed with Florey’s decision, writing in a published opinion that a defendant gives up his right to a court-appointed lawyer when he beats up the one he has.

Yes, I did notice what he was on trial for. It makes the story that much better.

Ride ‘Em Cowboy

I’m not trying to be insensitive or anything, but I have to ask. If you’re holding a “gay rodeo” with the idea that it will help fight stereotypes, why in God’s name are people dressing goats in pink underwear and decorating cows? To me that just seems…gay.

“This proves that we are normal,” said Jen Vrana, president and founder of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association, a 240-member group that was founded two years ago.

“This is an all-American sport, and we are all-American people.”

But the event – like other longer-established gay rodeos elsewhere in the United States – distinguishes itself from mainstream rodeos by injecting a little fun along with the strength and skill required to control a bucking animal.

Interspersed with familiar events like steer riding and calf roping were “goat dressing” – in which pairs of contestants try to put hot-pink underwear on the hind quarters of an uncooperative goat in the shortest time – and “steer decorating” in which one partner of a team has to tie a ribbon on the tail of a struggling steer while the other tries to hold on to its horns.

And speaking of gay…

Chuck Curry, a 45-year-old contestant in three events, came to the rodeo from Fort Lauderdale Florida. He said he had already participated in five other gay rodeos over the last three years and works two jobs, as a barman and a taxi driver, to support his hobby.

Asked why the rodeo appeals to him so much, he replied: “I get to meet people – that’s as politely as I can put it.”

Yee-haw!

Liar, Liar, Hope His Pants Aren’t On Fire

Gregory Pillow has been sought out to give fire safety demonstrations at schools and daycares. He’s known to give really good ones. The only problem ishe’s not an actual firefighter. He just runs around pretending to be one. He’s apparently done this for years. Now, after someone called the fire station trying to confirm his employment with them, a fraud squad is investigating him.

My big question is why? What does he get out of it? He hasn’t tried to molest kids or anything, he doesn’t get money. All he does is go in and do fire safety speeches. Did he try and fail to get into training to be a firefighter, and now this is the best he can do?

Yup, people are weird.

Look! Another Trixie Post!

I figured it was about time for another Trixie update. Every single time I do one of these, I feel like I’m forgetting stuff. Oh well, it just means more material for later.

Remember when I mentioned how she like to stretch out on her belly with her legs as far behind her as possible? Well, now she has a new one. Sometimes, she’ll flop down so that she’s almost upside-down, and just stay there. It’s like she’s trying to do a headstand! Strange, strange dog.

I swear I mentioned this before, but I don’t see any reference to it on the blog when I looked back a bit. A while ago, I noticed that after she just finished doing something really cool, she would wack my right hand with her nose as if to say “I would like my kibble, please! I believe I deserve something for my trouble.” Well, now it’s gotten a bit worse. It’s nothing I can’t fix, but she’s getting super insistent about getting some kibble in places where it’s not practical to stop and give her some. Silly, silly dog.

I don’t know how she does it, but sometimes, when she’s moving around, her tags sound further away than they are. I’ll start looking for her, and she’ll be right there! Oops. I’m a big moron.

there’s another dog in our building that jingles his tags exactly like Trixie does. At first, I thought it was just that thing they do where they sound far away, but Steve has heard that jingle when I’m gone. Oh god. Maybe that dream about bringing the wrong dog home is slightly less crazy. There’s another dog with the same jingle!

Well, the Kong Wubba is showing some severe signs of weakness. The material is still there, but it has holes, the tennis ball has caved in and looks rather pathetic, one of the squeakers has ceased to squeak, although I don’t think she’s been able to remove it, but she still loves the thing. I can make her go nuts with one squeak of it. I took it with me when we went home to see Steve’s family for his brother’s birthday, and she ran around the basement with it, growling like a lion. You’d never know she had such a ferocious side. I have to get a recording of her doing that before the poor wubba bites the big one.

I’ve been told about another squeaky toy that’s supposed to be super durable. It’s called the Cuz Squeaky Toy. A lady who runs a doggie daycare swears by them, and if anyone’s going to put a dog toy to the test, it’s the owner of a doggie daycare.

I really think Trixie has figured out that even if I pack a suitcase, she’s going to stay with me, and we’re coming back. I could be nuts, but at first, I thought she was awfully nervous when I would pack her things. She would follow me around, but it was in a clingy way. Now, when I start packing, she gets all excited and waggy. It’s neat to watch the change. Now, trips are just a big adventure to her.

My poor pooch and her issues with being easily dominated by other dogs. There’s a girl in town who I help with computer stuff. She has a dog, and I don’t think the dog would hurt anyone, but she makes a big show of being in command in her own home. They have a love-hate relationship. One day, they’ll play. The next, one will growl at the other.

Trixie’s funny about this place. She very much knows how to find the apartment, but once we get to the door, she fights tooth and nail. She does not want to go inside! I have to bribe her with treats to get her in. Things are getting better between them, but still, she’s not so sure about going in there.

The funniest thing they did was compete for the affections of the second person Trixie’s a big fan of, aside from me, of course. As soon as he came over, the two dogs started taking turns running to him. If one seemed to be getting a little more petting than the other dog liked, that dog would scoot in. It was too funny.

She’s so funny. She loves to show that she knows where we’re going. When we’re getting close to where she thinks we’re going, I’ll feel her increase in speed ever so slightly, and sometimes not so slightly. She’s so funny. She tries to read my mind, and more often than not, she succeeds.

I feel sorry for the poor Trixter. In February, they closed the Country Depot, the place where I used to get her food, where that silly dog with only three legs used to hang out. It was also home to the infamous fruit stand. But even now, she stops there and tries to point it out. Oh well, she’s getting less insistent about that. Finally!

I’ve noticed something else. She’s really starting to pick up on the surroundings when we’re on the bus, and when we get to a place where we usually get off, she starts to fidget and prepare to get up! This happens on lots of bus routes. She’ll do it at the stop for the vet and other stuff down that way, she’ll do it for my friend’s place with the crazy dog she’s not too much of a fan of, she’ll do it for our home stop, and she’ll always do it for downtown! This is good! the chances are getting less that I’ll miss my stop.

It looks like Teddy pissed off quite a few people with his incessant howling at everything around him. He and his owners may get evicted, and I’m sure that’s mostly due to his barking at all hours of the day and night. He’s really starting to scare me. At first, he was just annoying. Now, he’s getting more aggressive. Sometimes he’ll strain at the end of his chain and instead of a bored sounding rooroorerooreroo, it’s more of a gurrrrrrroooof! I don’t know, but it doesn’t give me a good feeling. He’s twice the size of Trixie, so I’d hate to see what would happen to her if he decided to attack her. As much as I pity him for the way he’s treated, i.e. left outside for hours at a time, I’ll be glad when he’s gone.

I bought something for Trix that I hope will help in the hot summer months. It’s called a cool it bandana, among other names. You soak it in water for about 20 minutes or so, and it keeps its coolness for a long, long time. She’s already gotten to wear it once, and it seemed to do good things. First off, she likes it, which is always a bonus. Second, it really seems to work! Let’s hope so. My little sun-sponge needs something to help cool her down.

Trixie did something really weird the other night. I haven’t had to tie her down at night since about October or so. Once I hit the sack, she just stays in her bed. If she does get up, she just goes out to the other bed in the living-room. She doesn’t go snooping for anything, she just lays down. But the other night, she did something really weird. I was reading a book, and she got up, went out to Steve, and started snorting at him and wacking her nose into his hand. I came out to investigate, thought maybe she had to go pee really bad and for some reason thought she should ask Steve. Very weird, but it was the only thing I could think of. I took her out, and she didn’t do a thing! I brought her back in, went back to reading, and she did it again! That night was the first night in a long time that she had to spend on tiedown. But she hasn’t tried that crap since, so hopefully it taught her something.

That’s about all I could think of for general Trixie tidbits. I want to talk about the dog first-aid course I took, but that’s a whole separate post. It’s amazing how no matter how long you have a dog, you still notice new things. I’m sure there’ll be more stuff to come, although probably less often than before, just because I’ve written so much up here.