If We Arrest The Drunk Naked Guy, The Terrorists Win!

Here’s another drunk guy who walked into the wrong house. Poor Teddy Brisseaux won’t be able to say that he just dreamed this one. Police were dispatched to a Bruce Avenue house shortly before 4:30 a.m. Sunday after being told about a house break-in at a home a block from the defendant’s home. When officers […]

Painting A Picture Of Stupidity

Here’s a tip. spray-paint is toxic, especially if you slather your face with it as a disguise while committing a robbery. I would tell you to ask Thomas James about the dangers of spray-paint as a disguise, but he’s kind of dead. I also thought it was funny that this robbery occurred on Sparkleberry Lane. […]

How Did He Fail thee? Let Us Count TheWays.

I think I agree with chuck Shepherd of News of the Weird’s assessment that Hell’s totally waiting for Aurelio Vallerillo-Sanchez. Uh-huh, and I think there’s also a place for him if there ever is a fail hall of fame. Should we create it in honour of William Topaz McGonagall? Anyway, I digress. Let us place […]

>Hope It’s Not A Good Luck Charm

>Man Hospitalized After Drilling through Live Round to Make Keychain Charm Bla bla bla, another person drilling through, or hammering on, live ammo. but there was one line that spoke to me and said he needed a place up here. The man did not immediately seek treatment, but consulted with his neighbor and eventually went […]

Neely’s Body Was Pulled From The Trash Bin. However, Proper English Was Burned Beyond Recognition.

We’ve ragged on the Guelph Mercury before, but after reading this story, I think the folks at the Merc are doing a stellar job. Simpson killed Simpson? No, Simpson killd Neely! He was paritally dismembered? You mean partially? My good lord above, look at all the typos. At least use a spell-checker, for the love […]