Uh, do you really think that you can protect yourself from the wildfires of California by…hanging out in your hottub? Well, you can’t, as two people from Big Tujunga Canyon found out when they tried this. They’re now critically burned and in hospital. Why is it that I keep seeing this scene from the simpsons …
Monthly Archives: August 2009
Blinded By Vision
I just got off the phone with someone, and the whole conversation brought a question to the forefront that flits through my mind from time to time. Why are some blinks, and a lot of folks who have any level of vision trouble, so preoccupied with their level of vision? Either they want to make …
If We Arrest The Drunk Naked Guy, The Terrorists Win!
Here’s another drunk guy who walked into the wrong house. Poor Teddy Brisseaux won’t be able to say that he just dreamed this one. Police were dispatched to a Bruce Avenue house shortly before 4:30 a.m. Sunday after being told about a house break-in at a home a block from the defendant’s home. When officers …
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Painting A Picture Of Stupidity
Here’s a tip. spray-paint is toxic, especially if you slather your face with it as a disguise while committing a robbery. I would tell you to ask Thomas James about the dangers of spray-paint as a disguise, but he’s kind of dead. I also thought it was funny that this robbery occurred on Sparkleberry Lane. …
How Did He Fail thee? Let Us Count TheWays.
I think I agree with chuck Shepherd of News of the Weird’s assessment that Hell’s totally waiting for Aurelio Vallerillo-Sanchez. Uh-huh, and I think there’s also a place for him if there ever is a fail hall of fame. Should we create it in honour of William Topaz McGonagall? Anyway, I digress. Let us place …
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>Hope It’s Not A Good Luck Charm
>Man Hospitalized After Drilling through Live Round to Make Keychain Charm Bla bla bla, another person drilling through, or hammering on, live ammo. but there was one line that spoke to me and said he needed a place up here. The man did not immediately seek treatment, but consulted with his neighbor and eventually went …
A Quick Anatomy Lesson
Here’s a helpful tip for anyone who has the uncontrollable urge to stuff a pen up their urethra. If you get it in too far, it will not come out your ass. It’s too late for the 57-year-old man who thought his urethra was connected to his butt, but he did manage to become a …
Neely’s Body Was Pulled From The Trash Bin. However, Proper English Was Burned Beyond Recognition.
We’ve ragged on the Guelph Mercury before, but after reading this story, I think the folks at the Merc are doing a stellar job. Simpson killed Simpson? No, Simpson killd Neely! He was paritally dismembered? You mean partially? My good lord above, look at all the typos. At least use a spell-checker, for the love …
Brain Crash Cab
Remember back when I said Cash Cab’s contestants are smarter than Chain Reaction’s contestants? Well, I think I may have to take that back. I saw two dumb herds of people on cash cab that I think might fit right in on Chain Reaction. I wish I could find videos of these dorks. To make …
Some Thought Dribbles
Here are a few things I’ve been thinking about. I thought about putting some of them in my last monster thoughts post, but it was starting to take on a life of its own, so I figured I’d best save them for another time. My friend told me a story about something they saw while …
