Good Evening, So I’m back from a nice little period of relaxation at the family cottage. Pretty much my favourite place on earth. At the moment I am draining the alcohol from my liver and trying to keep myself from boiling over due to the annoyance of the sunburns I seem to have acquired! What …
Monthly Archives: August 2008
Somebody Left His Brain In The Night Deposit Slot
If you show up at a bank’s night deposit slot, and it has an “out of order” sign posted over it and two dudes who look like security guards standing beside it, who claim that if you give your money to them, they’ll deposit it in the morning, do you believe them? If you do, …
Continue reading “Somebody Left His Brain In The Night Deposit Slot”
Eat Your Vegetables, Or I’ll Abandon You At A Hospital!
Jesus! If you’re a kid in Nebraska, be very very good. Be good when you’re with your parents, your babysitter, your teachers, anyone who’s taking care of you, because if you piss just one of them off, they can legally surrender you to the state at a hospital. Yup, they can just say they can’t …
Continue reading “Eat Your Vegetables, Or I’ll Abandon You At A Hospital!”
I Saw The Error-Laiden Sign
It’s good to see someone standing up for the English language. It just sucks that it’s going to be called a crime. I mean, it has to be, because the guy altered a public sign. But the sign was wrong! Come on! “Emense”? That isn’t even a word! If there was a way to harness …
You Think That’s An Even Trade?
Judging by this story, if you’re a woman, don’t live on, or walk down, Old 41 Road in Bonita Springs. You might get asked for sex. I mean, an undercover deputy could walk around wearing shorts, a shirt and flip-flops and bag 10 men who offered her dough for sex. But the most interesting offer, …
Great Coping Skills, Dude
I shouldn’t have read this story today. I am suddenly filled with rage at the father. So you couldn’t save your wife. That’s sad. But what the fuck kind of shape do you think you’re leaving your son in by telling him you’re going to shoot yourself, threatening to shoot anyone who came near you …
Woohoo! Drug Money!
Ok, this ranks right up there with giving doctors survival bonuses. Who thought giving kids up to 100 bucks a month for good behaviour would be a good idea? I know when I was growing up, the small rewards I got for being good, i.e. praise from a teacher or trust to do more stuff, …
I’m Not Jazzed About This
The idea that Air Canada’s Jazz Airlines has decided to stop carrying life jackets to save money scares me. Sure, they still have the seat cushions that can be used as flotation devices, but how long can you hold onto one of those if you’re in cold water? And how many people will be killed …
Only Got A 3 Inch Tool
I’m not so sure that this would be my first line of defense if I werethis guy, but hey, I guess you’ve gotta do whatever you think’s gonna get you off…so to speak. A Texas doctor on trial for indecent exposure claimed that he couldn’t be guilty of flashing an undercover cop because, well, there …
Amazing Grace
I feel like I’ve just been given a slap in the face by fate for entitling this post the way I did. I just found out this morning that my grandma passed away. She’d been sick for a while, and I didn’t know how much longer she’d make it. But it still doesn’t make the …