Records sound pretty awful and silly when you play them at the wrong speed, at least that’s always been my experience. I never discovered anything cool, unlike whoever it was that decided to try out a 45 of Dolly Parton’s Jolene at 33 RPM, which is album speed for the benefit of anyone who may …
Monthly Archives: April 2014
I Can’t Believe My North American Arms Had To Pull A Gun Out Of There
Seems we’ve got another loaded gun in a vagina, everyone. I know desperate people do desperate things and whatnot, but this just seems like such a beyond horrible idea. As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search. …
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If You’re Going To San Francisco, Be Sure To Wear A Stranger In Your Shirt
This in-flight molestation business is getting to the point where it may need its own tag. I should get around to that whenever it is that I finally make one for United Breaks. Anyway, the latest case took place on a British Airways flight from London to San Francisco earlier this month. The victim was …
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How Fast And How Far Does Harf Travel At Speeds Like These?
If memory serves, the 2 longest elevator rides I’ve ever taken are 35 floors and 54 floors. What I do remember for sure is that both of them made me feel pretty damn barfy. So it’s with that in mind that I must declare news of Hitachi’s new express skyscraper elevator for the Guangzhou CTF …
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Hardware Store
I thought about putting this one up earlier when I saw it the first time, but didn’t. But now that it’s found me twice… A woman goes into the small-town hardware store and tells the owner she needs a drawer pull handle to replace a broken one. He gets out one that matches her description …
Do You Want That In Real Money Or Should I Make It As Fake As Those Criminals?
“Hello mom? Yeah, it’s Zac. I need a little help. Some drug dealers kidnapped me see, and they say they’re gonna kill me if I don’t come up with $200. Could you pleasepleaseplease………What do you mean not this shit again, son? Is that a no?” Police in Knox County, Tennessee, say 25-year-old Zachery Lodgson texted …
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All I Want For Christmas Is My 32 Teeth
It’s been a while since the dentists tag has gotten a workout, but I think it might be time. A Missouri man is suing his dentist for allegedly pulling out all 32 of his teeth for no reason. Skyler A. King, 23, claims he visited a Clayton dentist about an abscess and was told he …
Detroit Metropolitan Airport Now Has A Service Dog Bathroom
Hey Carin. If one of your trips takes you through Detroit Metropolitan Airport and you wind up spending some time in the McNamara Terminal, let us know what Tans thinks of the fancy new indoor service dog bathroom. In lieu of doored stalls or urinals, the bathroom features a pair of tiny grass yards. It’s …
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Cool Factor
Here again is Gill, this time talking about people, places and things she thinks are cool. Somehow, I was not mentioned. A simple oversight I’m sure. Have you ever met people who just seem to spread coolness where ever they go, or whatever they do? Have you also wondered about those places with it as …
I Want David Letterman To Be Around Forever, But If He Can’t, Stephen Colbert Will Do Just Fine
TV sure is going to be weird when David Letterman is gone. I’ve been watching him on and off since I was a little kid in the 80’s and early 90’s trying not to get caught staying up later than I was supposed to. Obviously you’ll never replace him, but if you need somebody to …