Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
You know, at least Karl Kornrumpf was close to his house when he tried to break down the wrong door. He was only one street over, not 8 miles from it, or worse yet, 46 miles from it. Two things stand out. That’s one tough door, and he sure seems like an honest guy. I …
Continue reading “I Don’t Know What’s More Smashed, Him Or The Door”
Katrina Diane Camp’s little girl is very, very lucky. Apparently, she, her mother and their dog went camping, and her mother decided to have a little fun. After drinking 3 quarters of a bottle of spiced rum, she decided to go on a hike with the dog, but left her two-year-old daughter naked in the …
So, here’s a warning to everyone in Florida. Apparently, if someone gets busted for DUI and they’re told they can’t drive a car, they can still tool down the road at 20 miles an hour in a scooter. Oh I feel better already, especially since these suckers have a nearly silent motor. Great! So, as …
This story of a kid’s birthday party turning into a drunken brawl causes me to ask so many questions. There’s the obvious question. What kind of idiots would break beer bottles and involve themselves in a massive 75-person brawl in front of 30 children? Not only are you setting a horrible example, but you’re endangering …
Ooo! A humping! We haven’t had one of these in a while. All we know for sure is that somebody flashed some girls in a playground, and then humped a dinosaur-shaped piece of playground equipment. Police think that a drunken fellow by the name of Guadelupe Paramo-Almanza was the one who did it, but they’re …
Continue reading “Open The Door, Get On The Floor, Everybody…Hump The Dinosaur?”
Is it me, or are people’s tempers getting shorter and shorter? I mean, we have the whole food feuds tag full of people snapping over various food items not being available. Now, we know that you shouldn’t tell Dallas Amber Smith that her feet smell, or she might stab you in the back. Seriously. It …
Continue reading “Cutting Remarks Should Not Lead To Being Cut”
Eeewww. I don’t know how good I’d feel if I was one of the people viewing a house in Notting Hill where it was discovered that the owner of the house was lying dead on the couch while the tour was going on. At first the agent thought the lady was just sleeping, so saved …
Continue reading “What About The Woman On The Couch? Oh. She’s Part Of The Furniture”
Tommy Ryser must have gone to the Leonard Scott and Erik Salmons school of don’t stop until you’re completely screwed. Why? Because he committed 3 DUI’s on the same night, and he got caught when he came back to collect the evidence of his first two. It started when he crashed his truck into a …
Here’s a little tip for all the Sheryl A. Urzedowskis out there. When you’re asked to do a field sobriety test, it’s not a fashion show. Just walk the line once. Walking it with hands on hips 3 times is not necessary. Also not necessary is requesting to perform a gymnastics routine, although that would …
The first entry in this little news briefs thingy is what I’m interested in. I’ll try to tell the story as best I can without breaking out into barrages of “you idiots!” Eight numbskulls didn’t want to pay a cab fare. Many of them had been sucking back the booze. Luckily, the driver *was* sober. …
Continue reading “Eight Drunks In The Car, And The Officer Said, "Pull Over!"”