The future’s looking bright for the child of 38-year-old Julie Bailey. I mean, when Bailey is pregnant, gets drunk, and goes out to rob a Taco John’s for crack money, how can things get much worse? She couldn’t even manage to pull out a hammer from her pocket! And she was walking around choosing a …
Category Archives: alcohol was a factor
A Toe Is Not A Dog Treat
So, here’s a lesson, courtesy of Jerry Douthett. If you notice that your toe is swelling, so much so that you can’t wear shoes, and it smells, go to the fucking hospital, would ya? Don’t wait, because if you do, your dog may do an in-home amputation for you. This case is pretty much like …
August Long Weekend Audio
Boy oh boy do I have a monstrosity for you! Remember how we said our Canada Day audio would never be heard by the world? Well, that still holds, so we decided to try again. And we created something even longer and crazier than that one! We didn’t mean to, honest. We just sat down …
I Came Upon A Roadkill Beer?
Ug. Would you drink beer served up in a taxidermied up squirrel or stoat? No, they’re not killing the fuzzy things just to use as beer bottles. They were roadkill anyway. If you have that kind of money to throw away, you can knock yourself out, and Brewdog will happily take your 500-700 pounds. *Shiver*.
>Behind Every Fruity Vodka, There’s A Fruity Man?
>I really wish I had the shooter’s name for this story, because everyone needs to know that if they find themselves at a party with this fellow, they shouldn’t, under any circumstances, make fun of his sexuality. If they do, he will turn into a gun-wielding maniac. This guy came to a party uninvited, which …
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Fair Is Fair, But Fire Is Fire
I like drinking games as much as the next guy, but if losing one meansI’m getting set on fire,sorry, but I ain’t playin’! Sheriff’s deputies learned that the victim and friends were drinking Monday and had made a bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire, according to a news release. The …
If Ya Can’t Hug ‘Em, Slug ‘Em!
It doesn’t take much to get Dominique J. Conway mad. It also doesn’t take much to get him drunk either. A blood alcohol level of 0.086 was enough to turn him into a drunken fool? Seriously? I guess he was feeling friendly, so approached a random man and tried to hug him. He was pushed …
Oh Baby, What I Wouldn’t Give For A Beer Right Now
A 24-year-old Massachusetts man is in trouble with the police and hopefully his significant other after he allegedlytried to trade his 3-month-old daughter to a maintenance man in exchange for 2 1.1 litre beers outside of a gas station convenience store while the baby’s mother was inside buying cigarettes. Fortunately, either because he’s a good …
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Aaah! That’s Not A Lollypop!
Help me out here. To simulate a sex act means you’re not actually doing it, right? So sucking on a dildo outside a convenience store while waving it at women, that would be simulating a sex act, yes? No, according to the 5th District Court of Appeal in Daytona Beach. Because he was using his …
Waaaa! Give Me My Booze Now! Waaaa!
It’s a special kind of man who, when police tell him he won’t be getting his brandy back because it was being held as evidence, would lay down at an intersection and have a tantrum, demanding his booze back. The funny part was he was robbed of his brandy, and when police found it, of …