A dude breaks into a garage, then gets scared off to a neighbour’s garage, where he steals a mountain bike, a lawn mower, a stuffed toy and a blanket, returns to the first garage, and is found two hours later passed out in a boat with his pants down next to the now anatomically correct …
Category Archives: news
Suddenly, $35 Doesn’t Seem Like That Much
Just picture the complete suckery that a day like the one described in this story would entail. It definitely outsucks subjecting your taste-buds to a vegan brownie! Man is mugged at gas station, man chases after mugger in his car, man gets out to chase him on foot leaving keys in ignition, completely unrelated men …
Continue reading “Suddenly, $35 Doesn’t Seem Like That Much”
He’s No Nerd?
My mom used to think I was weird because I figured out a system where I could calculate what day of the week a given date was in a certain year. um, er, I think I’ve been beaten. I would be arrogant to even say that if you could quantify our weird abilities, that that …
Roachbots?
I’m going to look like a conspiracy theorist, but this is just weird. A bunch of Washington scientists built robo-cockroaches and sent them out to see if they could infiltrate and influence real ones. They had to spray them with pheromones to fool the little crawling critters, but they did it. They say it’s to …
No Really, the Mice Were Part Of The Presentation.
Gees, with the amount of money people pay to have desserts at this eatery, you’d think the eatery could afford to call an exterminator. Nope, so it’s shut down. No one will be buying $25000-sundaes anymore. Jesus! $25000? Why? You’re going to eat it! I know it has eddible gold and the finest cocoa, but…you’re …
Continue reading “No Really, the Mice Were Part Of The Presentation.”
That Would Suck Ass!
*shiver* I’ll never think of pool drains the same way. Some of them have the power to suck your intestines through your ass? Ugugugug!
Woe! Egg Nog Contains Eggs!
What do you think you are going to find in a jug of egg nog? Since it is *egg* nog, I would think a reasonable person would deduce that it contains eggs. Am I wrong? Apparently, I am, and the poor folks at Smiling Hill Farm have to hand-stick labels on all the caps on …
Anything To Declare? Yeah, A Dead Man, Thanks To You!
I hope I never need some kind of emergency ambulance transport across the border. If I do, I hope the ambulance carrying me doesn’t get stopped by Customs Officers, like happened to poor Rick Laporte. The man had a heart attack, needed emergency angioplasty, and the closest place to go was Detroit. His heart stopped …
Continue reading “Anything To Declare? Yeah, A Dead Man, Thanks To You!”
Poncho the Gator Went Chomp Chomp Chomp
Ok, this story starts off pretty mundane. Dude is running from cops, dude decides he should dive into a pond to get away, pond is full of aligators, and…so long, he’s movin’ on, his face no more you’ll see. But this is where it gets weird. Apparently, it’s a Florida state law that if a …
I’ve Got A Bike, You Can Ride It If You Like
Robert Stewart, the man who earned himself a spot in his local sex offender registry after being caught engaging in a little…uh…um…pedalphilia,has been sentenced to3 years probation. Sheriff Colin Miller said: “In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one …
Continue reading “I’ve Got A Bike, You Can Ride It If You Like”