It’s a great day to pull the shorts off, head out the door and take a dump near a buttload of tourists.
Category Archives: news
I Think I’ll Listen To Some Sting And Go To Sleep For A While
Here’s one for Carin. As we’ve mentioned, she loves these. Make her day, they do. A 20-year-old man nearly lost his life getting stung thousands of times by bees after accidentally cutting into a nest while tree trimming. Austin Bellamy remains on a ventilator in a medically induced coma at the University of Cincinnati Medical …
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May 2023s Best News Bloopers
Is a fear of butterflies a common thing? And on the subject of butterflies, maybe it’s just Carin and I, but does anyone who comes from around KW/Guelphish remember the commercial for I want to say the Butterfly Conservatory with the little kid at the end saying “A butterfly might land on you!”? And if …
Nice Gun. Mine’s Bigger. Behave.
I shall do my best to remove the images evoked by the words “75-year-old nudist” from my mind and focus on what’s truly important here, but please excuse any shuddering induced typos in the following text. I have never been to a nude beach and have no plans to partake in such activities in the …
Sour Dispatch Kids
I have so many questions, and I’m pretty sure the answers to all of them are alcohol and Florida. A “heavily intoxicated” Florida Man was arrested Saturday night for calling 911 to report that his girlfriend “wished to eat Sour Patch Kids” according to police. An arrest affidavit does not reveal why Joshua Larson, 37, …
Shot Pocket
I don’t know whether or not I’ve ever eaten a Hot Pocket. If I think really hard I can recall something with little chunks of ham and gross tasting creamy cheese in it that I think might have been a Hot Pocket, but I can’t be sure that that’s what it was. For all I …
April 2023s Best News Bloopers
“Unfathomable” is kind of hard to say. Almost as hard as “statistical significance” or “anonymous usage statistics.” This has been Steve makes a joke that only Carin will understand.
“So What’d You Get For Christmas?” “I Got My Affairs In Order!”
I’ve seen several news stories in the last couple of years about how Christmas is the worst time of year for heart attacks. It makes some sense. the holidays, fun as they can be, are also a pretty stressful time for many. Money, Travel, family disagreements, your doctor’s office texting you that you have terminal …
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A List of Low Bandwidth, Easy To Read News Resources
Since a lot of news websites are cluttered as hell, it can be hard to find and consume what you’re looking for. this is true if you’re blind like me and want to beat the shit out of the next video/ad/countdown timer that won’t stop interrupting the screen reader or bouncing it all over the …
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March 2023’s Best News Bloopers
No no no,! It’s *fisting*!
