Nothing like a little depressing reading to get me started blogging. So I was looking at Twitter, loo dee dum dee doo dee hum dee…what’s this? SEVEN THINGS YOU LEARN SURVIVING AN ATOMIC BLAST… Whaaat? And I have read some depressing cracked articles. this one, or this one, or this one, even this one, but …
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
Not A Good Brand Of Parenting
Wow. Another parent of the year. I don’t have a lot to say, because there isn’t anything I could add, except, oh yeah, this one’s in Florida, too. This one, Kayla R. Oxenham, decided she had to brand her kids to mark them as her own. Yup, that’s what they say she said. She heated …
I Think He Had More Than A Snoring Problem
I read about this story not too long after I was out of the hospital. In true me fashion, I let out a scream when it got crazy…and then thought, in light of current circumstances, maybe that was dumb. Poor Steve, the scream must have been pretty painful-sounding, because he came in a hurry, thinking …
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I Can’t Believe My North American Arms Had To Pull A Gun Out Of There
Seems we’ve got another loaded gun in a vagina, everyone. I know desperate people do desperate things and whatnot, but this just seems like such a beyond horrible idea. As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search. …
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I Understand Giving Your Ex His Stuff Back, But This Is A Bit Much
Being cheated on and dumped is a pretty shitty feeling. And naturally, there are several ways one might react when it happens. Some folks cry out their eyes, some folks throw glasses, some folks throw back a few glasses, some yell and scream and still others take it all in stride and do their best …
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Ow! That Smarts!
Obviously, we here at Vomit Comet World HQ strongly advise against putting meth pipes in your vagina. But if you must, we encourage you in the strongest manner possible not to get into a car accident while they’re there. According to The Smoking Gun, police officers responding to the accident found that 26-year-old Jeana Marie …
Did He Ask For It Back?
If you remember the story a friend sent in about the fellow who used an electric toothbrush on the end opposite to that which the good lord intended, you might enjoy this guy livetweeting his trip to the ER for the removal of a vibrating dildo, complete with photos and life lessons. Life Lesson: When …
Rounds In The Chamber, Indeed
Quite the day we’re having here. First it was hundred bags of drugs in his out door guy, and now, meet loaded .22-caliber revolver in the vagina lady, AKA Christie Dawn Harris. While being transported to jail, Harris “stated several times that she needed to go to the bathroom.” At the lockup, Harris was directed …
I Can’t Imagine Putting 3 Digits In There, Let Alone A 3 Digit Amount Of Something
Bloods Gang Member Found With 100 Bags Of Heroin Hidden In His Anus (Which Appears To Be A New Record) I don’t know if this actually is a record, but sweet jesus do I ever hope it is. I may cry.
Be Careful. It’s A Dog Eat Ball World Out There
Man. You try to do a nice thing by taking in a stray dog and giving it a good home and the next thing you know, the damned thing is chewing off your testicles while you sleep. Around 7:45 a.m. Monday he was awakened by a “burning pain” in his mid-section, according to the initial …
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