Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Ok, it was weird enough that a guy was dared to punch a camel and did so, but this fine phrase made me giggle:
He accepted the dare and was detained afterward by security personnel, but he soon escaped and tried to run from the park with his fiends, police said.
Oh, those fiends. Those devilish animal-abusing fiends. Or was it friends? I don’t know. Maybe his friends are fiends. They did dare him to punch a camel after all.
Ok, we have substitute teachers screwing kids, and we want to fire one over a magic trick witha toothpick? Let’s get our priorities straight. They claim there was other stuff, but all of that sounds perhaps reprimand-worthy, not requiring termination. This is just weird.
Doesn’t everybody know that you shouldn’t drive a car with Sparky the chihuahua on your lap? Doesn’t everybody realize that that could lead to an accident if Sparky moves unexpectedly and causes you to strike the gas or brake, or jumps down and hits it himself? But when a bill was proposed to ban the ability of drivers to drive with pets in their laps, people flipped out!
People, stop driving and talking on the cellphone, and stop driving and cuddling fido. Fido goes in the back, or on the passenger’s seat, but he does not go on your lap! As was finally said by a sensible person after everyone was done being idiots, “”I love dogs, I love being close to them. But when I’m in a car, pushing 3,000 pounds of metal at 60 miles an hour, I also like to keep my fellow motorists alive.”
thank you! I wish everybody thought like that. But if they did, we wouldn’t need this bill.
Angelique R. Vandeberg could find herself with a lot of time to sit in the corner and think about what she’s done.
The 28-year-old woman is facing up to 3 years in prison for allegedly
shooting her 8-year-old daughter in the leg with a BB gun to win a $1 bet she had made with her boyfriend while the 2 of them were drinking heavily.
Police began looking into the incident Wednesday after a school counselor reported it to police. The girl was shot three or four days earlier, but a circular bruise with a white-colored point in the middle remained visible on her thigh, the counselor said.
The girl said the shooting occurred in her mother’s bedroom, where Vandeberg was with her boyfriend after she had consumed 10 to 12 beers.
The boyfriend bet Vandeberg $1 she wouldn’t shoot the child, then handed her the BB pistol. Vandeberg took it and shot the girl. The bullet, which did not break the skin, bounced off her leg and struck her 7-year-old brother, who was not injured.
The boyfriend then grabbed the gun, ran out of the house and drove away. Vandeberg told her daughter not to say anything, advising that the incident was a “family thing” and the mother would go to jail if the girl told.
For her part, Vandeberg says her daughter is making up the story to try to get her in trouble, but for what we do not know. she says that the injury is actually 3 weeks, not 3 days old and that it was the result of a fall from a bike.
Riiiight.
I’ve known some smart 8-year-olds in my time [hell, I’d like to think I was one] but this seems way too logical a story for one of them to not only come up with, but stick to. The involvement of social workers prior to this incident wouldn’t appear to do our mother of the year’s credibility any favours either.
Hopefully a few years of not being able to go outside and play with her friends at the beer store will set her back on the straight and narrow. If not, hopefully Sheboygan County will do the right thing in spite of it’s policy of trying to “keep families together even in cases of child abuse” and get these poor kids away from mommy the maniac before somebody makes her another offer she can’t refuse.
Listening to the defense lawyer, Jason Grey, talk in this story makes me dizzy. Come get dizzy with me.
We have an odd story about Manuel Balbin allegedly torturing a teenager who he thought stole his Playstation. That was weird enough, but then his lawyer opened his mouth. He didn’t start off wonderfully by saying that the words are worth nothing because they are the words of a gang member. He quickly followed this up by saying that his client was not a member of a gang, even though he has gang insignia tattooed on his shoulder. His final confusing statement was that this whole rigmarole wasn’t torture, but a gang initiation. But Mr. Grey, how can your client be part of a gang initiation if he’s not a member of any gang?
Listen, buddy, other people have already been convicted. Maybe you should just say he’s nuts, his street name is insane after all, and try and convince the judge he needs help. This method isn’t working.
What kind of freaks would vacation at the Guantanamo Bay Resort? The souvenirs even talk about fighting for freedom, so it’s not like they’re trying to gloss over the fact that this is in fact Guantanamo Bay.
I think this woman must be unsatisfied with a lot more than her sex life to act like this.
When deputies arrived, the woman denied any assault had taken place, and repeatedly, without sparing a vulgar euphemism, told the deputies about how unsatisfied she was with her sex life — some of the time carrying around a half-gallon of whiskey while doing so.
During an argument with one of the deputies, the woman picked up the family’s 20-pound dog and threw it at the deputy, who caught it, the report said.
The deputies convinced the couple to separate for the night, and the man said he was taking their children to a hotel. But the 28-year-old returned to the apartment and took her husband’s wallet, military identification card and keys.
The woman resisted being arrested for theft — her screams were described as “blood-curdling” by one of the deputies. The deputy who drove the woman to jail reported she questioned his manhood, asked God to forgive him because “he knows not what he does,” and “donkey-kicked” him in the shin while he attempted to walk her from his patrol car to the jail, reports said.
Come on, that should be on an episode of Cops. It just needs to be there.
An almost aptly-named kid who is now dead after racing a train with his skateboard is Jonathan Sory. I bet he’s really sorry about making that decision. But what I can’t figure out is why the company who runs the train is busy being sorry. Anyone who races a train is an idiot. Unless the conductors didn’t even try to stop, it’s not their fault.
Carin’s
penguin post
reminded me of this old joke that I don’t seem to have posted here before.
A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road.
The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk.
He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla would really hit the spot since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all.
He sat down at the counter and started to eat. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice-cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess.
Eventually he walked back to the service station and asked the mechanic, “Did you figure out what was wrong with my car?”
The mechanic replied, “It looks like you’ve blown a seal.”
“No no,” said the penguin. “It’s just ice-cream!”