Wow. This is just dumb. Police are looking for Anthony Johnson, a black dude. Somehow, they get his license number mixed up with that of Andrew Johnson, a white dude, and Andrew Johnson gets grabbed. He’s released, but his license is suspended until he can prove that he isn’t Anthony Johnson! Hellooo! How hard is …
Monthly Archives: November 2007
Passed Out Where? In A What? With A Who?
A dude breaks into a garage, then gets scared off to a neighbour’s garage, where he steals a mountain bike, a lawn mower, a stuffed toy and a blanket, returns to the first garage, and is found two hours later passed out in a boat with his pants down next to the now anatomically correct …
>Suddenly, $35 Doesn’t Seem Like That Much
>Just picture the complete suckery that a day like the one described in this story would entail. It definitely outsucks subjecting your taste-buds to a vegan brownie! Man is mugged at gas station, man chases after mugger in his car, man gets out to chase him on foot leaving keys in ignition, completely unrelated men …
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>He’s No Nird?
>My mom used to think I was weird because I figured out a system where I could calculate what day of the week a given date was in a certain year. um, er, I think I’ve been beaten. I would be arrogant to even say that if you could quantify our weird abilities, that that …
Roachbots?
I’m going to look like a conspiracy theorist, but this is just weird. A bunch of Washington scientists built robo-cockroaches and sent them out to see if they could infiltrate and influence real ones. They had to spray them with pheromones to fool the little crawling critters, but they did it. They say it’s to …
No Really, the Mice Were Part Of The Presentation.
Gees, with the amount of money people pay to have desserts at this eatery, you’d think the eatery could afford to call an exterminator. Nope, so it’s shut down. No one will be buying $25000-sundaes anymore. Jesus! $25000? Why? You’re going to eat it! I know it has eddible gold and the finest cocoa, but…you’re …
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That Would Suck Ass!
*shiver* I’ll never think of pool drains the same way. Some of them have the power to suck your intestines through your ass? Ugugugug!
Woe! Egg Nog Contains Eggs!
What do you think you are going to find in a jug of egg nog? Since it is *egg* nog, I would think a reasonable person would deduce that it contains eggs. Am I wrong? Apparently, I am, and the poor folks at Smiling Hill Farm have to hand-stick labels on all the caps on …
Anything To Declare? Yeah, A Dead Man, Thanks To You!
I hope I never need some kind of emergency ambulance transport across the border. If I do, I hope the ambulance carrying me doesn’t get stopped by Customs Officers, like happened to poor Rick Laporte. The man had a heart attack, needed emergency angioplasty, and the closest place to go was Detroit. His heart stopped …
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What’s Popping Out Of My Popcorn?
Ok, I’m about to look nutty cuckoo, but maybe there’s a chance in hell that someone thinks the same way I do about this. Steve says this is one of the few things I say that makes him stare at me and go “huh?” Oh well. Does anyone else get creeped out by the way …
