Lemon Salad: Coming Soon To Your Prison Cafeteria

It’s been a surprisingly long time since we’ve had any culinary kerfuffles on which to report, but today I give you 2 for the price of 1. First up is a case of bitterness from Boca Raton. Mandi Valentine, 40, was arrested and charged with simple assault after she threw several lemons at her husband …

Sports And Things

I’ll warn you all right off the bat that this post might be more disjointed and uninsightful (I think that’s a word) than usual. I’ve been on the disabled list since Friday with something that’s taken most of my appetite and even more of my energy and I’m pretty much only writing because I want …

Does She Get Butterflies In Her Shoulder?

I always joke with a friend that she must be an alien because when she has a problem with something, the pain is never where it should be, and her appendix and gall bladder were not where they were supposed to be. I always ask her how she’s hiding her green skin. Here’s a really …

I’m Getting Mixed Messages From the Pop

Hey there mom and pop of Pop, which is not the kid’s real name. You’re stupid. I know you have beautiful dreamy plans and only the best hopes for your little tyke, but you’re stupid to think they’ll work and not cause your kid harm. These people want to raise their kid with no gender. …

I Shouldn’t Have Seen Shadows Of Doubt

A few weeks ago, I said I was going to see a play that my friend Anton was in. I said I was worried about it being lame. I couldn’t have been more wrong. In fact, I think people should see it far and wide. It’s awesome, and not just because Anton was hilarious in …