Get ready for the latest and greatest from the fucksticks at PETA. I was not aware of this until right now, but apparently all of the SeaWorld parks could be up for sale because ofthe sale of Anheuser-Busch to InBev.And if there’s going to be a sale, guess who says they’ve found a backer to …
Author Archives: Steve Wettlaufer
Only Got A 3 Inch Tool
I’m not so sure that this would be my first line of defense if I werethis guy, but hey, I guess you’ve gotta do whatever you think’s gonna get you off…so to speak. A Texas doctor on trial for indecent exposure claimed that he couldn’t be guilty of flashing an undercover cop because, well, there …
Cleanup In Aisle 5
The funniest thing aboutthisisn’t that somebody thinks Northern Peaks is a good name for a porn channel or even that part of the draw is that much of it’s programming will be made in Canada thus ensuring that for the first time ever somebody will actually watch a Canadian movie. Oh no. What makes this …
Where’s The Crime Here?
Charlotte, NCA 46-year-old woman said she was assaulted by a family member for moving furniture in his house without permission. The woman was a guest in her relative’s home and took it upon herself to do a little remodeling. When her relative saw what she did, he got angry and tried to push a china …
How The Internet Works
I feel I need to explain this to Shakespear Feyissa, because he doesn’t seem to have clue 1 about online culture. He also seems to have missed out on clue 1 when it comes to journalism ethics, but his being a lawyer makes it easier for me to understand how anything related to ethics probably …
Today’s Handy Criminal Tip
If you plan to tell the cops that you are not who they think you are, it’s best to first make sure thatyou do not have your last name tattooed on the side of your head.Do I make myself clear, Sterling F. Wolfname?
Doctor Penfield, I Smell Burnt Toast! And Computer Parts! And Curtains! And…
We’ve written about a lot of ridiculous gadgets here over the years, but I’m not sure if I’ve seen anything with quite as much disaster causing potential as this5.25 Inch Bay Toaster.I think thecented oil burnermight come close, but there seems to be more room for property loss here.
Castro Music
If you’ve ever thought to yourself self, I wish I could get my hands on some country songs, 1960’s style pop ditties and polkas about Fidel Castro, well,today is your lucky day. I especially recommend Charlie Stewart & the Gem Tones’ Hey! Castro and Jay Chevalier & the Moon Men’s Castro rock. If instrumentals are …
Dear Future Generations Of Swedes:
You have my deepest sympathies. And remember, when the day comes that you’ve had enough and finally snap, it wasn’t me who decided that your idiot parents should be allowed to name you something stupid like Budweiser. The guy you want to lay the beating on is Lars Tegenfeldt, and you might want to consider …
The English Language Was Also Killed
Hello, Guelph Mercury? Are you there? Yes, I’m talking to you. Is everybody there who knows what they’re doing on a long vacation, or does nobody give a shit anymore? I ask because I’m curious as to how garbage likethis makes it through your editing process, if you still have one that is. I’ll forgive …
