Keep It Down Back There!

A dozen illegal immigrants hiding in the back of a truck were nabbed after the driver heard them singing to celebrate as they entered the UK. Minutes after disembarking from a ferry at Dover, they began yelling out in joy. So the trucker drove his rig to the nearest police station. The 12 men, four …

I Don’t Know What He Needed More, Money or Brains

Joseph Goetz, you don’t seem to understand a simple principle. In order to have the right to complain to the manager, you have to be a customer. Trying to rob the bank doesn’t make you a customer. So saying you’re going to express your dissatisfaction to the bank manager that the cash drawers were empty …

Too…Much…Stupid…Can’t…Take…Much…More…

I had a revelation today. In a flash, I figured out how I’m likely going to die. What’s going to happen is this. I’ll be living my life on an average day, perhaps even a day much like this one. Then, without warning, a story likethat of Janella Spearswill cross my path. It happens all …

Yeah They Can Edit Out The Smart People, But Still…

A TV station in Milwaukee sent a reporter out to the mall to ask average Americans questions from the United States citizenship test. Since you’re reading about this on the Vomet Comet, I bet you know how it went. That’s right, everybody knew every answer and it was concluded that the country is in good …

Here’s What Happens When Imbeciles Write Policy

Thisis the finest example of what happens when nobody stops and says hey wait a minute that I’ve seen in quite some time. A proposed amendment to the state constitution of Colorado aimed at essentially killing abortion rights is so poorly thought out that it could potentially make murderers out of anybody who tries and …

I Guess The Police Get An A+ too.

This kid is very, very, very lucky. He lives in Israel, and decided he wanted to test the police’s reactions to someone who appeared to be a terrorist. So, um, he dressed up like one, complete with mask and large bag, ya know, like what might hold a bomb, and started walkin’ near a mall. …