Good day all. Just thought I’d get on here and lay out a plug for our friend Armagideon Time over at Blind Error.
The guy now has his own message board and hit counter with a little help from yours truely.
We here at the VomitComet would like to congratulate A-Time on moving forward with his operation. Head on over there and check it out. He’s got some pretty good writing and some GREAT links. I think you’d have fun over there. Just make sure you come back here.
A-Time. we salute you and your alternative life-style. And by the way, Scarey Movie 3 ruled.
Something that really gets on my nerves are people who say that they can’t watch the news because they find it depressing. Come on, what the hell is that? You’re pretty much telling me that you’re allowed to be a fucking ignoramus because the world makes you sad, and you expect me to put an arm around you and tell you that everythin’gs going to be ok? Fuck you! There is absolutely no excuse other than being clinicly brain dead for not keeping yourself at least somewhat informed about what’s going on around you. How hard is it to pick up a newspaper a couple times a week, or turn on your TV and watch a little news, or to go online to a news site, or to just listen to your radio at the top of the hour for the little newscast now and then? Really, it ain’t that difficult. Come on, if Matt can do it, how hard can it be? Man, I love infighting.
I have absolutely no time for people who can tell me the top 10 movies of the week along with how much money they made in every country but who know absolutely nothing about what’s happening in their own country. If you can tell me the top 10 movies of the week, that’s great, I’m glad that you like movies. But there are so many things going on in the world that directly impact your life, the least you can do is learn about them just a little. I’m not saying fill your life with news and seek it out every waking moment of the day, I’m just saying put in some effort here.
Is the world depressing? Sure. Is the news sad? Sometimes it is. Does that mean that you can tune out all the bad things and make them go away? Um, how bout no, Scott. There, I even threw in a movie reference for you. Turning off your newscast because you just saw a report about another child being taken from her home doesn’t bring that child back. Thinking war sucks and closing your newspaper doesn’t change the fact that the American public was lied to to get them into a war they wanted no part of, or that the government who is pulling off this charade is killing innocent civilians along with many of their very own soldiers on a daily basis. Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away, it doesn’t help the people involved in it, and it doesn’t do you any good either. If you don’t know what you’re complaining about or what’s upsetting you, you have no right to complain. If you want the world to change, it’s up to you to try to make a difference. If you can’t watch the news because you don’t want to hear about all the government corruption, watch anyway, and take notes. Keep track of all the lies they tell and all the scummy things they’ve done. Make people you know aware of it too and get them to do the same. Who knows, you might be able to get that government out of power the next time one of those elections comes around. One person can’t change the world alone, but they can help to get the ball rolling.
Wow, where did all that come from? I’m not sure. All I’m saying is just don’t be ignorant, I hate that and lots of other people hate it too, at least the ones who are smart enough to realize you’re an idiot that is.
Well, I’ve yet again left a Toronto sporting event with a bad taste in my mouth. The Argo’s played a hell of a game against the heavily favoured Montreal Allouette’s despite being at a huge disadvantage.
The game was played at Montreal’s Olympic Stadium where there were 60 000 fans. When Montreal was on offense, the fans would quiet down so that they could call the plays. It even got to the point where the Montreal QB, Calvillo, could signal the fans to quiet down. As soon as the Argo’s got the ball the fnas would not stop screaming making it impossible for the Argo’s to call plays amd forcning them to go with “silent offense’.
It was a great game but it was blown by the referee’s at the end when Calvillo chose to run the ball himself in to the endzone. Problem is that he fumbled the fall before he crossed the goal line which should have meant no touchdown. But Montreal was given the points and went on to win 30-26.
Montreal still played a great game and all, but it’s just little things like that that leave a bad taste. However, if Toronto hadn’t sacked out in the 3rd quarter it wouldn’t have mattered.
We’ve got another Ask At Own Risk lined up for either today or tomorrow that should prove to be entertaining.
I saw Scarey Movie 3 and would reccomend that you do the same if you have not done so yet. In my opinion it was the best of the Scarey Movie series. Should still be in theatres for quite some time.
Thought I would throw this question out there for you all as I watch the CFL playoff game and drink a few beers. Which brand of football do you like better, NFL or CFL? Those are National Football League and Canadian Football League for those of you who might not know what those initials stand for. Hey, it happens, this website is a worldwide thing after all.
Personally I’m not much of a football fan but when I do watch, I’d much rather watch a CFL game than an NFL game. For some reason, the game seems much more exciting and holds my interest a lot more than it’s American counterpart. The games seem faster paced and the product is just more entertaining overall to me. Maybe I’m just being patriotic or something. No, that’s not it, I think Canadian movies are shit for the most part and large amounts of Canadian TV shows are the same.
I’m just 1 person representing 1 opinion though, So what are your thoughts? Comment away if you feel so inclined.
By the way, Montreal is leading Toronto 3-0 in the first quarter. The western final goes tonight at 7 eastern time if you’re into watching that. I know I will be.
I just watched the Leaf game and I’m so sick and tired of watching the Leafs play perfectly good games and still having a bad taste in my mouth afterwards. It’s the same thing every time. God damn sack of crap Wade Belak.
We see the same routine with this guy and Pat Quinn. Quinn puts him in the line-up, he takes a stupid, non-sensical penalty that costs the Leafs, Quinn yanks him from the line-up for a game apparently disgusted with him, and then puts him back in the following game. GIVE IT UP!!! The guy is terrible. He does the same thing everytime. Why keep trying?
Well, Quinn will tell you why. According to Quinn he’s “extremely” valuable because he can play both forward and defense.
Now let me make something very clear. That doesn’t mean shit if you suck at BOTH positions. Honestly. I could go and play forward and defense for the Leafs. That doesn’t mean I’m any good at either of them.
You’re taking up a roster spot on either position for a guy that will not get you any points. Many will say that you need that kinda guy on your team for grit. When was the last time you saw him come to the aid of one of his team mates like a Domi does? he doesn’t do that. He can’t be physical without breaking the rules… so give up on this guy. This Sick experiment is over and it hasn’t worked. MOVE ON.
Yesterday while I was going through some of my old files trying to find something, I came across this old email a friend sent me and I thought I would share it with you all. This is such a great story.
My Mom has a friend who’s a nurse at Ajax/Pickering General Hospital. A 35-year-old man admitted himself early one evening and shyly explained to the nurse that he had his vibrator lodged in his asshole and couldn’t get it out. The nurse, who’s name is Lynn, informed the man that they’d have to wait until the batteries in the vibrator ran out, so it wouldn’t interfere with the machines during the operation. Two hours later, [those vibrator batteries can last awhile I guess], the vibrations ceased and the guy was belly-down on the operating table. Doctors worked for forty-five minutes to dig into the depths of this screwball’s ass to extract the pleasure toy. When they finally got hold of the thing, and pulled it out, it turned out not to be a common vibrator at all. This adventurous, and completely disgusting loser had decided it would be fun to stick an electric Colgate toothbrush up his rectum!! I don’t know if you have ever seen one of these toothbrushes, but they’re not small devices. He probably did some major damage to his bowels. At least his ass will be clean and white for awhile. That’s not all: To top it all off, the frigging guy asked for the toothbrush back after it had been extracted from deep in his poo-hole! What a loser! Needless to say, Lynn the nurse, who happens to have the same toothbrushes at home, hasn’t been able to brush her teeth since. So I guess the moral of the story is one man’s clean asshole, is a woman’s dirty mouth.
I found this site yesterday and it’s definitely worth a look if you’re into music at all. The idea is pretty simple. They post a title or 2 for potential songs on the front page, people have about a week to write, record and submit a song for the contest and then we get to listen to them all and vote on which one we like best. All types of music are welcomed, there aren’t many rules and anybody can enter a tune.
This week’s fights are songs called “More Than Soup” and “Toronto Star.” There are some fairly good tracks fighting in both but there are also some really really bad ones. “Toronto Star” features everything from saxophone and piano music, to a funny hip-hop deal about a band traveling to Toronto to try to get famous, to some nice acoustic stuff to one of the worst metal songs I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
More than soup is sporting some really poorly produced tracks, including one from a guy that I’ve actually heard of who I know can do way better than that, but there’s some pretty passable stuff battling it out there too so you’ll be able to pick a winner, even if it’s the lesser of the 10 or so evils fighting it out.
One thing I don’t like is that you can only see 1 fight at a time so if you know there’s more than 1 going on in a given week, you have to keep going back to the site again and again until the other one comes up. Still lots of fun and I suggest checking it out, you’ll hear some neat music and it’s a damn fine time waster. go there now, songfight.org!
Well, I missed yesterday. Being busy plus a complete lack of topics equals no posts. Good thing Matt was here to save the day, and with possibly one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever read. Swords? And I love the official reaction of the police too. It pretty much amounted to “we’re pretty sure that this clash was planned, and that it may have been gang related.” Well stop the fucking presses, Officer Friendly may be on to something here. May have been? Well ok, in all fairness to the good officer, I can’t count the number of times that I’ve seen groups of 30 people or more start fighting in a parking lot, and just happen to have fencing gear with them. Happens all the time in fact.
Don’t forget to check out the brand spanking new feature around here, “Ask At Your Own Risk.” If you haven’t seen it yet, scroll down and check that bad boy out. Not sure if it’s going to be a weekly thing or if it’s going to be less or more than that but we’ve already got enough material to fill out another whole column so odds are that there could be another one over the weekend. Keep checking the site like the faithful fan that I know you are to find out. You can also feel free to send us questions, even if you’re just taking them from your local paper’s advice columns. Hell, that’s all we’re doing and questions equals columns so send us what you’ve got. Each question will be answered with love by a member of the Vomit Comet Life Changing Squad, who are dedicated to the spread of truth for a happier healthier world.
Still not convinced? Here is an actual reader testimonial. Yes, we have actual readers.
“Thanks to your great advice, VomitComet, I’ve saved my 13 marriages and helped reunite my long lost 3rd cousin and half-sister. They’re now married and have 7 1/2 children. Thank you again, VomitComet. Thank you again. Fare thee well!”
If that isn’t enough to convince you, you my friend have a black, black heart.
So…. last night I went to the mall. I’ll give you a moment to take all that in…… Nothing out of the ordinary. Bought some decent clothes for work, dropped over $200.00 on cd’s and dvd’s, y’know? the usual.
Towards the end of my adventure at the mall, I find myself waiting outside Randy River for the rest of my party before departure. It is at this point that I begin to boredly gander around the mall at all the good folk of Oshawa doin’ their shoppin’ thing. However, there is one slightly odd ducking that catces my attention. (Warning: said duckling may not actually have been a duckling)
I look down the mall to my left and see a man dressed fairly normally for a 35 year old man walking with his very young daughter. She was probably about 5. I look away at first but something draws my attention back. The man is wearing cowboy boots. Well, while that may not in and of itself be too off the wall, it is the activity that the cowboy boots allow him to take part in that is the subject here.
The man is sliding in almost a cross-country ski motion in his cowboy boots down the smooth tile floor of the mall. I can’t help but smile but look away again. Again, I’m drawn back and look down as his daughter is doing the exact same thing. By this time I have to look away as they’re only about 15 feet away from me now so I do. I once again though can not help myself but to look back at these 2 and their odd choice of walking style. As the 2 reach my location, the man says something that sent myself and my sister in to hysterics. The two stopped directly in front of me, the man turned his head to look directly at me and said the following words….
“You’re wearing hiking boots. You can’t slide, silly!” in a tone generally reserved to talk your children out of trying something that they obviously won’t be able to do.
At this point my sister is stumbling around laughing like a hyenna and I’m standing there more in disbelief than anything else. Did I look like I was about to join them in a hardy slide down the mall? Did I have that “Watch the hell out, assholes. I’m slidin’ here!” crazed look in my eyes. I didn’t think so, but something prompted him to say that to me. There are some odd people out there.
On the way home from the mall, I was partaking in my favourite radio station, Edge 102 when I was filled with delight to hear that after the break I would get to hear the new Offspring single that I had yet to hear.
The commercials ended and my anticipation grew. I turned up the radio as the track was announced to be called “Hit That”. It started and … oh man….. IT SUCKS!!!
If it was possible for music to come in cartoon form, this would be it. But since it is possible for music to come in GARBAGE form, we’ll classify it as that instead.
The song was filled with bad sound effects and dumb …. EVERYTHING. It filled me with rage and I wasn’t through the second chorus when I turned the station looking like quite the tool to everyone else who had watched me get psyched up for this event.
I know Offspring is no longer punk anymore… but this was terrible. I classify this as worse than “Original Prankster” which up until last night had, in my opinion, been the worst Offspring song ever. There was some good stuff on Conspiracey of One, even some on Americana… but this was trash… and I’m all of a sudden scratching my head about whether to leave this album, coming out on December 7, where it previously was on the top of my Christmas list. I was extremely dissapointed.
Have a good day, everyone. An Offspring free good day.