>If The Key Doesn’t Work, Check The Address.

>You know how I thought a guy drunkenly thinking he was home when he was 8 miles from home was bad? Here’s a guy 46 miles from home. Aaron Ward pissed on himself, stripped off his clothes and tried to climb into what he thought was his window. How about nope? Now, I don’t know …

The Confession Would Come Out Of Her Mouth One Way Or Another

You know the phrase “You can’t unring the bell?” Well, there should be also one that says “You can’t ungive the robbery note.” Lois Harvey learned this lesson recently. I guess she came into the bank and walked up to the teller, all full of confidence. She was going to rob the bank. She handed …

Separating Fools From Their Money And Cracking The Rest Of Us Up

If there’s anything the business world is good at, it’s creating problems that nobody has, convincing people that they have them and then selling them something useless with which to solve them. Today’s example of this statement in action comes in the form of the EZ Cracker egg cracker and separator. Yes, no more messy …

Maybe Size Matters…But Does It Matter That Much?

Ann sent me this horrible round-up of things men have done to their penises. I’d heard of some of them, but some of them were new to me, and made me yell out imagining how much that would hurt. Really, leave your unit alone. It doesn’t need to be messed with. If you do mess …

Who Knew Some Dog Hair Could Save The Earth?

You know, every time I hear about this whole oil spill thing, I feel this crushing feeling of helplessness. I didn’t even want to blog about it, because what could I say? “holy shit that’s a lot of oil. What a catastrophe.” And what the hell does that do? I guess I could say that …

It’s Shocking That This Is Still Going On.

I remember writing about the Judge Rotenberg Center two years ago. When Ann sent me this update, I was shocked that the place *still* hasn’t been shut down. I know kids who have severe disabilities can be hard to handle, but they should never have shock devices attached to them that can be triggered whenever …

Identical Fates For Identical Twins

I’m sure identical twins do lots of funny pranks where one tries to pretend to be the other, but one place you shouldn’t do that is in court. This lesson brought to you by Matthew and Marcus Mauseri. Matthew was supposed to be in court, on a fraud charge of all things, and his twin …

Ernie Harwell, Dead At 92

It was just announced on the Blue Jays game that Ernie Harwell has died at 92. I wrotean entryabout him and what he meant to me last year when he announced that he was suffering from cancer, so I’ll let that say my piece. But there’s already a nice tribute article posted on the USA …

The Father Of Evolution May Have Been His Own Grandpa!

When I got this one from Ann, I knew it had to go up. Here’s some irony for ya. There is a report that shows that Darwin, Mr. theory of evolution, had some trouble in his family that was caused by inbreeding. I know marrying cousins was something they did back then, but I still …