Ok, so in the UK, kids are to be left in trees, but it is also perfectly ok to terrorize them in the name of a twisted science lesson. I don’t even get what they were trying to teach. All the kids were told one morning that there was a gun in the school. Then …
Monthly Archives: April 2010
That Was An Easy Catch
Ow ow ow ow ow! A guy broke into a hunting and fishing store, but the robbery was not successful. Why? He lost his balance and fell on some fish hooks, getting them embedded in his butt. One of them had to be removed in hospital. Oh, you say, but how do you know they …
Oh, What A Feeling, I’m Fallin’ From The Ceiling
This guy really took the old expression “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” to heart. He broke into a drug warehouse of some kind, but then he heard sirens coming. This wasn’t good, he thought, and he must escape. So, he climbed into the ceiling…but it wasn’t strong enough to hold him, …
Continue reading “Oh, What A Feeling, I’m Fallin’ From The Ceiling”
See Your Dentist Regularly, But See A Regular Dentist
If you found a dentist whose practice was set up in the basement of a house, would you let him do a root canal on you? This woman did, and look at where she is. That means it didn’t go so well. I don’t know if the detail of the office being hidden behind the …
Continue reading “See Your Dentist Regularly, But See A Regular Dentist”
Wake Me Up When You’re Done
Hmmm. I’ve volunteered at a crisis line, and overnight, and there have been times when my body has tried to send me to sleep, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone out, let alone so deep that the caller could hear me practically snoring, as happened to this Swedish fellow. That would be horrible…and if …
Touchy Feely Porn
Wow. First we had porn for the blind in audio form. Now, someone is trying to make raised dirty pictures! I’d like to see one…but I just can’t imagine getting turned on by some bumps. I was never good at tactile maps, and in this case I think I’d be too busy concentrating on what …
Well At Least Help Would Have Been Nearby
Damn this story. “Hat and Feet” by Fountains of Wayne is in my head. And damn it, I can’t find a way to link to it. Grayson Peterka is one lucky boy. His parents should go buy a lottery ticket in his honour. Peterka and his family were enjoying themselves at a family barbecue, when …
Continue reading “Well At Least Help Would Have Been Nearby”
The Only Thing This Book Should Kindle Is A Fire
I just finished the most horribly-written Stephen King short story I’ve ever seen. It was called UR, and judging by that link, it was to be released exclusively on the Kindle. Then someone decided to make an audiobook out of it…and that’s how I found it. I have put off writing this, in the hopes …
Continue reading “The Only Thing This Book Should Kindle Is A Fire”
Loose Standards On Loose Dogs
After that brief interlude of drunken stupidity, here’s another serious post. Jen sent me this, and it said we were free to circulate it, so here’s my attempt to circulate. I remember Helen McFadyen. I found her blog when I was talking about that horrible letter-writing campaign from CNIB that had Jim Sanders’s name falsely …
And Now, It’s Time For The Seventh Inning Blech!
I think the most I saw at a ballgame in terms of disorderly conduct was a dude mooning someone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone deliberately throw up on a kid. Yeah, the kid was 11. That says something about the deliberate puker, Matthew R. Clemmens. And to Mr. Clemmens, I say ha ha …
Continue reading “And Now, It’s Time For The Seventh Inning Blech!”
